Monday, June 1, 2009

job hunting begins again, for the third time this year

I am seriously nearly at the breaking point with the never-ending string of instability since we moved to Dallas two years ago. I don't know what God wants for us or what He has planned for us or when He'll tell us. I DO know that He'll take care of us and provide for our basic needs, and only our basic needs. I need to be content with that. We will likely never be materially rich. Our 800 sq ft apartment with only a concrete patio for a "yard" for the children to play in will have to suffice. It at least is a roof over our head that doesn't leak... at least, it usually doesn't leak. I feel so out of place among my peers sometimes, you know, the ones who regularly get their hair done and live in a neighborhood that has grass and sidewalks and fences and is in a residential area instead of right on a busy street. The odds are not in my favor that I will ever be in that niche.

But do I want to be? Time to change my tune. The "woe is me" part of this entry is OVER! Listen to all the blessings I have. I have a godly husband who sincerely WANTS to be able to support me and the children, and he gets more proactive and motivated to look for a job with each unemployment that happens. He also is a wonderful spiritual leader to our daughter, and prays with her every night before she goes to bed. I do have a place to live, even though it's not my "dream home," it's home, and I can work to make it a dream. I am to keep it (Titus 2:5). I have a daughter who thinks the world of me and wants to be with me and imitate me... am I making sure to show her a good example every day? I have a HUGE loving spiritual family who doesn't care about my outward appearance. I have a second child on the way whom God has sent to bless our family, and he/she is already doing so, as Tim and I enjoy "playing" with him/her and feeling the kicks and movements. I have a crafting business that doesn't yield a ton of income (yet), but I so enjoy making those items that make people happy.

As for Tim's job, when I started this post, I was near tears in wondering what the future would hold and upset at the reasons that he was given for being let go. My tears are dry now. The future holds what it holds. Tim will look for opportunities, and perhaps the very next door that opens, whenever it may be, will be the door that offers exactly what we need. And only God knows what that is. I accept that He will make His plans known to us in His time, not ours. I am at peace.

1 comment:

Lee Ann said...

I'm so sorry your wonderful family is going through this yet again. I have to say, through all this you show that your faith in God in unwavering and to me... that is inspiring.