I think I finally ovulated this past Saturday. But, unless hubby's sperm are going to live 3 days (one of which was internally dry), our chances of conceiving this cycle are nil. And I'm really OK with that. It's kind of weird how in the past I notice that I get all despairing about my cycles thinking I'm NEVER going to ovulate and lamenting about that... then a few days later I get my temp shift.
Anyway. I am excited about moving on to the next cycle because I'm going to try Lunaception. Our bedroom is fairly bright at night, and in the past before artificial lights came into being, women's cycles would line up with the moon... they would ovulate at the full moon and menstruate at the new moon. I've been off the pill for well over 7 months now, and the package insert said that if I missed 2 or 3 pills (depending on when in my cycle I missed them) that I could get pregnant. Since it was necessary to take them every day to keep the hormone levels up, I have no doubt that after 210 days the artificial hormones aren't in my body anymore. And since I have apparently ovulated (albeit late most times) with every cycle, I know that my body knows what to do... but I wonder if the light in our bedroom is confusing my body and basically telling it that it's a full moon all the time. I'm making some nice dark curtains and hopefully will have them installed by next Thursday.
In other news, no credit card at this time for hubby. And the bridesmaid's dress is still being worked on. I hope to possibly finish it today.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
keeping negative feelings at bay
Well it is now day 20 of my cycle and I am still waiting to ovulate. I was hoping that I would ovulate at least by Friday so that we would have a chance of getting pregnant, a chance of being far enough along to find out on the 31st, and a chance of being able to tell his parents (they live out of town) in person that we were expecting. But it doesn't look like this is going to happen. I'm ok with it, though, because I'll be seeing them in person at the beginning of May so if (all my if's are in a big, bold, loud font) I get pregnant before then, then I can still tell them in person. I'm in a wedding in early May so I would need to wait until after the wedding to not take away from the bride's big day.
I am still trying very hard to keep a positive outlook on this. I know there are lots of women out there who got pregnant with a very late ovulation but I don't think it will be me. What's really sad is how I am almost counting this cycle out when I haven't even ovulated yet. Someone out there help me keep hoping. I do get a little sadder as each cycle goes by, but I'm just hoping that the happy/sad ratio will stay more towards the happy side.
And really, now that this trying to conceive has been going on for a few months now, I am ok with not being pregnant already. I mean, if we got PG on our first try, then I would have been around 15 weeks pregnant now. Maybe not enough to be showing, but the time would be coming JUST around the corner... and I am a big procrastinator and I don't have NEAR the supply of maternity clothes built up that I want to. In fact, some more fabric is coming tomorrow and I have plans for a lot of "professional" outfits for it. A LOT of outfits, lol. (2 dresses, 2 skirts, and 8 tops). They will be fun to crank out since they don't have any zippers. And this is besides all the fabric that I already had, including 7 yards of khaki material for miscellaneous pants and a skirt. So since I'm not pregnant then I will have time to do some more sewing. I just need to not be on the computer so much. :P
And I'll get to work at my job for another few months. This year in Missouri I've had 3 different jobs already (since May). I won't feel like such a job hopper if I make it to a year with this one. And if I'm not pregnant this cycle then I won't have to worry about waiting to tell after my 90 day evaluation in 6 weeks. The next cycle will have me possibly just ovulating at that time or just finding out.
But getting back to staying off the computer. I need to do more things outside of the online world. Especially since most of what I come on to the computer for is pregnancy, childbirth, TTCing, and other related topics. LOL. Last cycle I didn't chart or check my CM at all and it was both my earliest ovulation AND my longest luteal phase. If this cycle would hurry up and put me out of my misery then I will probably do that for next cycle too. I did have 2 days last cycle (conveniently right around the time of my temp rise) where I had enough CM to notice it w/o actively checking for it. I found it very liberating and relaxing to chart only temps. Especially since a lot of the times my CM isn't really classifiable into a nice chartable category.
But anyway enough about that. It's time for me to go grocery shopping and get a book from the library that I've put on reserve. :) Oh before I go, not being pg now will also give me and hubby more time to save a little cushion to start us off on our staying at home, or paying for a midwife, or whatever. And it will also give us a little more time to help build up his credit. He has almost no credit at all so we are going to try to get him a credit card, and just use it very little, keeping a tiny tiny balance on it month to month to build up his history in the positive. I'm excited about that.
I am still trying very hard to keep a positive outlook on this. I know there are lots of women out there who got pregnant with a very late ovulation but I don't think it will be me. What's really sad is how I am almost counting this cycle out when I haven't even ovulated yet. Someone out there help me keep hoping. I do get a little sadder as each cycle goes by, but I'm just hoping that the happy/sad ratio will stay more towards the happy side.
And really, now that this trying to conceive has been going on for a few months now, I am ok with not being pregnant already. I mean, if we got PG on our first try, then I would have been around 15 weeks pregnant now. Maybe not enough to be showing, but the time would be coming JUST around the corner... and I am a big procrastinator and I don't have NEAR the supply of maternity clothes built up that I want to. In fact, some more fabric is coming tomorrow and I have plans for a lot of "professional" outfits for it. A LOT of outfits, lol. (2 dresses, 2 skirts, and 8 tops). They will be fun to crank out since they don't have any zippers. And this is besides all the fabric that I already had, including 7 yards of khaki material for miscellaneous pants and a skirt. So since I'm not pregnant then I will have time to do some more sewing. I just need to not be on the computer so much. :P
And I'll get to work at my job for another few months. This year in Missouri I've had 3 different jobs already (since May). I won't feel like such a job hopper if I make it to a year with this one. And if I'm not pregnant this cycle then I won't have to worry about waiting to tell after my 90 day evaluation in 6 weeks. The next cycle will have me possibly just ovulating at that time or just finding out.
But getting back to staying off the computer. I need to do more things outside of the online world. Especially since most of what I come on to the computer for is pregnancy, childbirth, TTCing, and other related topics. LOL. Last cycle I didn't chart or check my CM at all and it was both my earliest ovulation AND my longest luteal phase. If this cycle would hurry up and put me out of my misery then I will probably do that for next cycle too. I did have 2 days last cycle (conveniently right around the time of my temp rise) where I had enough CM to notice it w/o actively checking for it. I found it very liberating and relaxing to chart only temps. Especially since a lot of the times my CM isn't really classifiable into a nice chartable category.
But anyway enough about that. It's time for me to go grocery shopping and get a book from the library that I've put on reserve. :) Oh before I go, not being pg now will also give me and hubby more time to save a little cushion to start us off on our staying at home, or paying for a midwife, or whatever. And it will also give us a little more time to help build up his credit. He has almost no credit at all so we are going to try to get him a credit card, and just use it very little, keeping a tiny tiny balance on it month to month to build up his history in the positive. I'm excited about that.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
seven months off the pill already
On another message board that I'm on, I have a counting ticker that says how many days/months/etc it has been since a certain event. I chose the "event" of the day I took my last birth control pill and started charting. The other day my ticker rolled over to 7 months. I can hardly believe it's been that long. In my chart for this cycle and for all the rest until hubby and I are expecting, I am delaying updating the online version by a week. It's only fair to hubby so that he can be the first to know if I'm pregnant or not, even before all my online friends. :) It feels weird though to talk on the cycle message boards about my cycle... since I talk about things that happened a week ago, and I try VERY hard not to give clues about what is or is not happening currently.
Work is still going fine. We had a busy day today but it was all compressed into the last 2 hours. The bank lobby opened at 9 and I looked at the clock and felt like it should be 11, but it was only 10. I was so sad. But the day picked up and ended up going faster towards the end. We had a customer try to come by 10 minutes after the drive thru was closed, and they even waited at the window (that had blinds pulled down over it) for a minute or so before going on.
I get to be in a wedding in May. :D I am going to be this girl's only bridesmaid so she said that I could wear whatever I want. I love to sew so i am going to make a dress. I got the fabric yesterday. It's not _too_ shiny but it's not dull either. I think it's going to make a fabulous dress. I'm going to make the dress up (not sewing the zipper... just pinning that into the opening) in regular fabric first though to see how it fits and if I need to make any adjustments when I'm cutting it out. Also if I get pg this cycle then I will be a tiny bit along at the wedding, and may or may not be showing, but I am going to make it with a little extra room just in case. It is a dress with an empire waist anyway so it'll be very easy to have some room in the tummy area. I am looking forward to the wedding overall, though. It will be the first wedding that I've been in, besides my own. :)
Work is still going fine. We had a busy day today but it was all compressed into the last 2 hours. The bank lobby opened at 9 and I looked at the clock and felt like it should be 11, but it was only 10. I was so sad. But the day picked up and ended up going faster towards the end. We had a customer try to come by 10 minutes after the drive thru was closed, and they even waited at the window (that had blinds pulled down over it) for a minute or so before going on.
I get to be in a wedding in May. :D I am going to be this girl's only bridesmaid so she said that I could wear whatever I want. I love to sew so i am going to make a dress. I got the fabric yesterday. It's not _too_ shiny but it's not dull either. I think it's going to make a fabulous dress. I'm going to make the dress up (not sewing the zipper... just pinning that into the opening) in regular fabric first though to see how it fits and if I need to make any adjustments when I'm cutting it out. Also if I get pg this cycle then I will be a tiny bit along at the wedding, and may or may not be showing, but I am going to make it with a little extra room just in case. It is a dress with an empire waist anyway so it'll be very easy to have some room in the tummy area. I am looking forward to the wedding overall, though. It will be the first wedding that I've been in, besides my own. :)
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