Wednesday, October 18, 2006

still pregnant with #1, but already worrying about the birth of #2

Guess I'd better get an entry in here before October leaves us since I haven't done anything for this month yet. :P

I am now 32 and a half weeks pregnant with baby #1. December is just around the corner, and I have faith in God and my body that the birth will be fine and I will be able to push him/her out with few interventions from the hospital. My doctor and I are so far in agreement of the few "major" items I've mentioned on my birth plan. I'm going to take a rough draft to her this Friday to discuss the rest of the options I'd like to have available to me while I am in labor.

We searched for a doula and I interviewed 3 of them who do it professionally, but didn't really click with any of them as much as I would have liked to. A close friend of mine had a home birth this past June, after having a C-section in June of '05, and early in my pregnancy I thought of asking her to be at the birth, but didn't know if she could make it since she had two young children who would need looking after. But it turns out that all this time she had been wanting to offer to be at the birth but didn't want to make herself seem too pushy or anything. :P So she will come over sometime in early (but active) labor and help me stay at home as long as possible, then help hubby to be an advocate for me at the hospital and keep the nurses away during a contraction and help me to not be overcome with a bunch of interventions.

When I think about the upcoming birth, I don't really know how it will turn out (like with how long it will last and will it happen at night or at day, etc.). But I do feel peaceful about the whole thing. That is the feeling I have most, above even excitement and anticipation.

Now for our second birth, hubby and I will probably try for a home birth, or at the very least a birth center birth. We will probably be living in a different state by then so I won't be able to take my hospital experience with me, even if it is a good one. Just before my last appointment, I got a copy of my medical records and noticed that my dr had accidently put "does want antibiotic eyedrops" instead of "does not want antibiotic eyedrops." I got them b/c I was going out of town the next day and if something should happen I wanted the records with me. Well I happened to be talking to my mom and let it slip that there was that error on my chart. She went ballistic. I told her why we weren't doing it and later she talked about it to my dad. I called her again today, just to say hi and stuff, and she said that my dad wasn't going to say anything but that if we didn't get the drops and there was something wrong w/ the baby's eyes then he was going to sue our doctor! Um, wouldn't that be MINE and HUBBY's decision as the baby's parents?

Before hubby and I started trying to get pregnant, he let slip at a family gathering that we would try for a homebirth. I'm sure my parents are just ecstatic that we are going to a hospital this time. We WILL do a homebirth or birth center birth next time, but I am already worried about the reaction my parents will have and the discussions we would have over the 9 months of that pregnancy. I mean, if they get THAT ballistic (threating to sue my doctor??? how meddlesome can you be, really) over just eye drops, then they would surely completely flip out over an entire BIRTH at home. At my last prenatal appointment, my doctor HERSELF even said that she is supportive of home birth (but wouldn't do it herself b/c she has seen everything that can go wrong). I would hate to cut ties with my family for the duration of the pregnancy, but I just have a feeling that is what I might have to do because I doubt they would do the reading and research and everything to have a rational discussion, and instead try to use scare tactics to get me to change my mind.

Well guess what mom and dad, I'm an adult; I'm my own person; I really do have a good thinking head on my shoulders; and I am your stubborn daughter and I will not let you "scare" me into going to the hospital. Please, just accept that, and let's be friends again, ok?

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