Once again, my blog has been neglected.
Two days after my last post, I got a positive pregnancy test. The pregnancy passed uneventfully for its first half. We discovered a marginal placenta previa at my 20-week ultrasound, and planned on checking it again in six to eight weeks.
That next check never happened.
My membranes ruptured at 23 weeks, and I was placed immediately on hospital bedrest. They were going to keep me pregnant as long as possible, with the ideal goal being 35 weeks, at which point they would induce. But at 25 weeks and 5 days, I went into unstoppable labor and my sweet baby Jonathan Gabriel was born by emergency c-section.
He lived 27 days.
I pumped during his time in the NICU, and he was able to take some of my milk, but then got an infection and had to stop all oral feeds. The effects of the infection were just too much for his little body to handle, and he lost his fight for life on Christmas Eve of 2011. We were heartbroken.
We are back into a new normal now. We will never stop grieving in our hearts, but will continue walking with God and thereby make it through the days, weeks, months and years to come. We will welcome another child if God chooses to bless us that way, but not now. Not this soon. Even if Jonathan had lived, we would not feel that our family was complete at only three children.
Tim is still at Schwan's. His route has been adjusted a few times and he is now only working nine days out of every two weeks instead of ten. We are happy that he now has every Saturday off. His sales are increasing, but very, very slowly. I've been able to grab a few more transcription contracts to help out, and plan on going back to work this week.
I'm also continuing to declutter. I had hoped to get it done before Jonathan got here, but with the surprise hospital bedrest, that didn't happen. But now that I'm not making daily trips up to the NICU, I have a little more time, so I'm trying to do a little bit every day.
I'm also going to declutter my body, too. For the first time in nearly six years, I'm neither pregnant nor nursing. It's hard to remember how to eat for one. A few people have recommended My Fitness Pal online to me, and I like it so far. My six-week follow-up appointment is tomorrow, and I'm going to ask the doctor then about exercise, since I've never had a surgical birth before. I have been feeling fine, though, so I should be good to go.
I'm also going to ask him if there was a reason for my water breaking so early, and if I can do anything in the future to try to reduce my risk of that happening, and what signs I can watch for to see if it would be more likely to happen again. I will no longer have a blissfully innocent pregnancy. And unlike early miscarriages, I won't even have a "safe week" that I can get to where I can feel confident that the rest of the 40 weeks will happen.
They might not.
But I love children and love being pregnant and if we are blessed with another pregnancy, I will be thankful for every day, every hour, that we have with that baby. Every moment is a gift.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Monday, June 20, 2011
losing it and gaining it
Losing weight and gaining work, I mean.
Tim and I are starting week 7 of the Couch to 5K plan that I mentioned in my last post. We would be on week 8 now, but we each had separate setbacks causing us to re-do a week. We haven't lost any weight yet, but that is dietary, so we're going to try to eat healthier now, like if we want some ice cream, just do the recommended 1/2 cup serving size (it's TINY!) instead of a big bowlful, and try to do more veggies instead of chips, etc. The workouts are hard, but doable. My main problem is that with nearly any type of exercise I do, I get bored. I even try to do my routine while watching TV and even that doesn't help the time go faster, even if it's one of my favorite series.
In regards to gaining work, Tim's pay still is not increasing at the rate we originally hoped it would. He did have his super weeks and had a "bonus" of sorts during those weeks b/c of a few days with some super sales, but now he's back to normal, and normal isn't much more than nothing. It would be nice if a better job for him would fall out of the sky, but I don't think that will happen, so I've accepted that the transcription that I do needs to be a permanent fixture in our lives. I can handle that.
I just need to finish getting my routine in line and the apartment organized so that instead of putting out fires all day, I can actually feel like I'm accomplishing things. It's a long, slow process, but I just need to make time daily to do SOMETHING towards that end goal. It will be so worth it.
Tim and I are starting week 7 of the Couch to 5K plan that I mentioned in my last post. We would be on week 8 now, but we each had separate setbacks causing us to re-do a week. We haven't lost any weight yet, but that is dietary, so we're going to try to eat healthier now, like if we want some ice cream, just do the recommended 1/2 cup serving size (it's TINY!) instead of a big bowlful, and try to do more veggies instead of chips, etc. The workouts are hard, but doable. My main problem is that with nearly any type of exercise I do, I get bored. I even try to do my routine while watching TV and even that doesn't help the time go faster, even if it's one of my favorite series.
In regards to gaining work, Tim's pay still is not increasing at the rate we originally hoped it would. He did have his super weeks and had a "bonus" of sorts during those weeks b/c of a few days with some super sales, but now he's back to normal, and normal isn't much more than nothing. It would be nice if a better job for him would fall out of the sky, but I don't think that will happen, so I've accepted that the transcription that I do needs to be a permanent fixture in our lives. I can handle that.
I just need to finish getting my routine in line and the apartment organized so that instead of putting out fires all day, I can actually feel like I'm accomplishing things. It's a long, slow process, but I just need to make time daily to do SOMETHING towards that end goal. It will be so worth it.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
spring moves on, some progress on some projects
Well, so much for my goal of wanting to blog at least every two weeks. Maybe I should write it on the calendar so I'll remember, or coordinate it with the Saturdays that Tim works (every other Saturday) or something.
Benjamin's continuing to add more words to his vocabulary, including "pray" and "amen." We are still doing elimination communication with him, and he's dry for almost every nap and while sleeping at night, now, and even stays dry while I take him to the kitchen for a drink of water first. He wakes up with a greater need to drink than a greater need to go potty, so I let him sip a bit first and then tend to his other needs. :) I don't have any high hopes of him being 100% potty trained early or anything, but it's been nice to have him go in the potty even on occasion, and hopefully when the time DOES come for him to be potty-independent, it will be a relatively smooth transition.
Lydia continues to read pretty much whatever she can get her hands on. Our trips to the library to refresh our supply of books are more and more frequent. Also, when Tim and I watch TV, we usually turn on the closed captioning so we can keep the volume low and don't bother the neighbors (or a sleeping Benjamin). And Lydia will occasionally read the closed captioning, too, or at least give a valiant effort. I got her a "preschool workbook" in her Easter basket this year and she's enjoyed going through that and learning how to follow instructions with a worksheet instead of just drawing whatever. She also had her first cut-and-paste experience and it went well. It didn't take her any time at all to learn how to use the scissors.
I did finally get some more done in decluttering. I still have to do the bathroom, my bedroom and my closet, but the kitchen, dining room and living room are about 95% done. It is a HUGE improvement over what it was before. Here are a couple of before/after pictures.
Dining room before:
Dining room after:
Play area/living room before:
Play area/living room after:
There is also a couch in the living room that was piled so high with yarn and coats and random stuff that you couldn't even really tell that there was a couch there. But now the couch only has pillows on it, and people can actually sit there. :) I don't want to relax too much because the bedroom and closet are going to be HUGE projects, but I feel a little more able to breathe now. I can sit in the living room or dining room and feel peace instead of getting stressed out because of the clutter.
Tim and I have started the Couch to 5K running plan this week. It builds up with gradually-increasing runs until you can run enough to run a 5K race straight through without walking. I was SUPER sore after the first workout, and the soreness lasted for three days, but I stretched properly after the other two workouts and feel better now. I'm looking forward to doing this program. I want to be able to play actively with my kids for longer than 10 minutes at a time before I get out of breath. And if I happen to lose a pound or two, then I won't complain. :)
Tim's sales at his job have not increased noticeably yet, and the backlog in my transcription is gone (so now I have to log in at just the right time to see if there is work available), but we are still making it. Just because I am a spreadsheet nerd, I started tracking Tim's sales, since he is on a 14-day rotation, so we could see if there were any trends on a particular day or not. So far, there haven't been, but he's only been on each new day for about 4-5 times, so it's still too early to really tell. He's been easily making the sales goals that the company has set for him each week, but those goals aren't quite high enough to be our personal sales goals. I believe the sales will still increase. He has a couple of "super weeks" coming up, and hopefully should have some great sales during that time.
Benjamin's continuing to add more words to his vocabulary, including "pray" and "amen." We are still doing elimination communication with him, and he's dry for almost every nap and while sleeping at night, now, and even stays dry while I take him to the kitchen for a drink of water first. He wakes up with a greater need to drink than a greater need to go potty, so I let him sip a bit first and then tend to his other needs. :) I don't have any high hopes of him being 100% potty trained early or anything, but it's been nice to have him go in the potty even on occasion, and hopefully when the time DOES come for him to be potty-independent, it will be a relatively smooth transition.
Lydia continues to read pretty much whatever she can get her hands on. Our trips to the library to refresh our supply of books are more and more frequent. Also, when Tim and I watch TV, we usually turn on the closed captioning so we can keep the volume low and don't bother the neighbors (or a sleeping Benjamin). And Lydia will occasionally read the closed captioning, too, or at least give a valiant effort. I got her a "preschool workbook" in her Easter basket this year and she's enjoyed going through that and learning how to follow instructions with a worksheet instead of just drawing whatever. She also had her first cut-and-paste experience and it went well. It didn't take her any time at all to learn how to use the scissors.
I did finally get some more done in decluttering. I still have to do the bathroom, my bedroom and my closet, but the kitchen, dining room and living room are about 95% done. It is a HUGE improvement over what it was before. Here are a couple of before/after pictures.
Dining room before:
Dining room after:
Play area/living room before:
Play area/living room after:
There is also a couch in the living room that was piled so high with yarn and coats and random stuff that you couldn't even really tell that there was a couch there. But now the couch only has pillows on it, and people can actually sit there. :) I don't want to relax too much because the bedroom and closet are going to be HUGE projects, but I feel a little more able to breathe now. I can sit in the living room or dining room and feel peace instead of getting stressed out because of the clutter.
Tim and I have started the Couch to 5K running plan this week. It builds up with gradually-increasing runs until you can run enough to run a 5K race straight through without walking. I was SUPER sore after the first workout, and the soreness lasted for three days, but I stretched properly after the other two workouts and feel better now. I'm looking forward to doing this program. I want to be able to play actively with my kids for longer than 10 minutes at a time before I get out of breath. And if I happen to lose a pound or two, then I won't complain. :)
Tim's sales at his job have not increased noticeably yet, and the backlog in my transcription is gone (so now I have to log in at just the right time to see if there is work available), but we are still making it. Just because I am a spreadsheet nerd, I started tracking Tim's sales, since he is on a 14-day rotation, so we could see if there were any trends on a particular day or not. So far, there haven't been, but he's only been on each new day for about 4-5 times, so it's still too early to really tell. He's been easily making the sales goals that the company has set for him each week, but those goals aren't quite high enough to be our personal sales goals. I believe the sales will still increase. He has a couple of "super weeks" coming up, and hopefully should have some great sales during that time.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
march? it's march already?
I'm still wondering what happened to February. I'm still keeping up on Facebook, but I will try to pop in here twice a month to make an update, maybe with pictures, maybe with videos, since there's really only so much that can be said in the 420-character limit that Facebook imposes on status updates.
Benjamin is walking all over the place now. He started walking slightly later than Lydia did (at 16 months instead of 15), but like her, he took only a very short time to go from 100% crawling to 100% walking. He is also talking quite a bit, saying "words" like amen, cup, diaper, potty, and banana.
He also had surgery a few days ago to remove the cyst under his eyebrow which had been there since birth. He looked great right after surgery (he woke up MAD but calmed down once we were in the car), but then over the following couple of days, his poor eye got bruised and swollen.
The swelling is gone now, but the bruising remains and is working its way out. I had no idea that eye surgery would cause that much bruising and swelling. He was such a trooper though and didn't let it slow him down at all.
The daily Bible devotional that someone passed along to me has been helpful. I have skipped a few days, but try to read every day during naptime, while it's quiet. And since the quarter is new, I've also gotten on the ball with doing Lydia's daily readings as well. I do hers with her at bedtime, in between her prayer and her other story.
She is turning into quite the reader herself, though, and I have to hold the Bible away from her while I read it, or else she will get distracted looking for words on the page that she knows instead of listening to the story. She loves going to the library and getting new books. Here she is reading one of them (and hubby and I had not read this one to her before this video at all - it was completely new to her).
And here she is reading some out of her children's Bible.
She is also into writing. She wrote this note for a friend of hers. It says, "Happy birthday to my friend Aaliyah and Lydia."
Since she's so into reading and writing, I am going to get her a dry-erase writing practice tablet for Easter, along with a fat preschool workbook that I'll do with her. The workbook also includes cutting and pasting, which she hasn't done at all, and coloring specific colors, which she hasn't done (she has colored freely, which is good, but I think it's time for her to also be able to follow instructions).
She continues to amaze me with the way her mind works and the things she says and does. I am part of an e-mail list for Christian ladies, where we take turns sharing some spiritual e-mails that we write. I wrote one when Benjamin was a newborn, outlining how we should be like a newborn, but then since then, I've been stuck on topics. I sent an e-mail to the organizer and she sent back some suggestions, one of which was to take some of the things that Lydia says and find a spiritual application for them. So I am doing that, and less than a week later, already have several ideas to outline.
I have gotten very, very little done on the decluttering front. It's just so hard to do with two little kids running around all day. I am trying to still do some every day, but sometimes a week goes by and I've done nothing, and the clutter grows during that time, which just further demotivates me. The last time we had people in our home was right after Benjamin was born, when people brought us some meals, and since I was newly postpartum, I had a reason for the mess. But before that, I can't remember the last time we had people over. I want to be able to have people over again, but not if walking through our apartment is going to be hazardous.
Hubby has taken it upon himself to lose some weight, and he's been making slow but sure progress in that arena. It helps that I pack his lunch every day now instead of him grabbing some random fast food wherever he's at (and this is also helping our checkbook as well). I, on the other hand, have gained weight and am now at my highest non-pregnant weight that I've ever been. I've been stress-eating and need to stop.
I mentioned some possible changes for hubby's job last time, and those changes have started this past week. And yes, it DOES mean a pay cut for us - and quite a substantial one. The company changed the commission structure and they pay a tiered commission on daily sales now instead of weekly sales. Overall, they pay out more commission now than before, but the base is significantly lower now as well. The pay cut will remain until hubby builds up his route. A couple of days are already built up to a good level, but others lack a good $500 in sales before it will meet our needs. And his new salary, by itself, is now not enough for us to live on.
We've cut our budget where we can, but I am stepping up working now as well. My play food sales are flatlining, but I am still doing transcription. The company that pays me better rates has actually been backed up for weeks. When I log in, there are pages and pages of jobs available, whereas before, sometimes I could log in and there be either nothing or just a job or two. So I've been taking advantage of this backlog (since I don't know how long it will last) and doing what I can to help make up the difference coming from hubby's lost pay.
So that working is part of the reason I've been absent on this blog and absent from doing decluttering, but other stuff keeping me from it is Facebook and other online things and various games and stuff. I just need to cut WAY WAY back on those things and concentrate on what's important - God and family.
Benjamin is walking all over the place now. He started walking slightly later than Lydia did (at 16 months instead of 15), but like her, he took only a very short time to go from 100% crawling to 100% walking. He is also talking quite a bit, saying "words" like amen, cup, diaper, potty, and banana.
He also had surgery a few days ago to remove the cyst under his eyebrow which had been there since birth. He looked great right after surgery (he woke up MAD but calmed down once we were in the car), but then over the following couple of days, his poor eye got bruised and swollen.
The swelling is gone now, but the bruising remains and is working its way out. I had no idea that eye surgery would cause that much bruising and swelling. He was such a trooper though and didn't let it slow him down at all.
The daily Bible devotional that someone passed along to me has been helpful. I have skipped a few days, but try to read every day during naptime, while it's quiet. And since the quarter is new, I've also gotten on the ball with doing Lydia's daily readings as well. I do hers with her at bedtime, in between her prayer and her other story.
She is turning into quite the reader herself, though, and I have to hold the Bible away from her while I read it, or else she will get distracted looking for words on the page that she knows instead of listening to the story. She loves going to the library and getting new books. Here she is reading one of them (and hubby and I had not read this one to her before this video at all - it was completely new to her).
And here she is reading some out of her children's Bible.
She is also into writing. She wrote this note for a friend of hers. It says, "Happy birthday to my friend Aaliyah and Lydia."
Since she's so into reading and writing, I am going to get her a dry-erase writing practice tablet for Easter, along with a fat preschool workbook that I'll do with her. The workbook also includes cutting and pasting, which she hasn't done at all, and coloring specific colors, which she hasn't done (she has colored freely, which is good, but I think it's time for her to also be able to follow instructions).
She continues to amaze me with the way her mind works and the things she says and does. I am part of an e-mail list for Christian ladies, where we take turns sharing some spiritual e-mails that we write. I wrote one when Benjamin was a newborn, outlining how we should be like a newborn, but then since then, I've been stuck on topics. I sent an e-mail to the organizer and she sent back some suggestions, one of which was to take some of the things that Lydia says and find a spiritual application for them. So I am doing that, and less than a week later, already have several ideas to outline.
I have gotten very, very little done on the decluttering front. It's just so hard to do with two little kids running around all day. I am trying to still do some every day, but sometimes a week goes by and I've done nothing, and the clutter grows during that time, which just further demotivates me. The last time we had people in our home was right after Benjamin was born, when people brought us some meals, and since I was newly postpartum, I had a reason for the mess. But before that, I can't remember the last time we had people over. I want to be able to have people over again, but not if walking through our apartment is going to be hazardous.
Hubby has taken it upon himself to lose some weight, and he's been making slow but sure progress in that arena. It helps that I pack his lunch every day now instead of him grabbing some random fast food wherever he's at (and this is also helping our checkbook as well). I, on the other hand, have gained weight and am now at my highest non-pregnant weight that I've ever been. I've been stress-eating and need to stop.
I mentioned some possible changes for hubby's job last time, and those changes have started this past week. And yes, it DOES mean a pay cut for us - and quite a substantial one. The company changed the commission structure and they pay a tiered commission on daily sales now instead of weekly sales. Overall, they pay out more commission now than before, but the base is significantly lower now as well. The pay cut will remain until hubby builds up his route. A couple of days are already built up to a good level, but others lack a good $500 in sales before it will meet our needs. And his new salary, by itself, is now not enough for us to live on.
We've cut our budget where we can, but I am stepping up working now as well. My play food sales are flatlining, but I am still doing transcription. The company that pays me better rates has actually been backed up for weeks. When I log in, there are pages and pages of jobs available, whereas before, sometimes I could log in and there be either nothing or just a job or two. So I've been taking advantage of this backlog (since I don't know how long it will last) and doing what I can to help make up the difference coming from hubby's lost pay.
So that working is part of the reason I've been absent on this blog and absent from doing decluttering, but other stuff keeping me from it is Facebook and other online things and various games and stuff. I just need to cut WAY WAY back on those things and concentrate on what's important - God and family.
Monday, January 24, 2011
a new year full of changes
Apparently one of the major changes that I'm making this year is to stop writing in this blog, haha. No, really, I didn't intend to do that. But about two years ago, the hubby introduced me to Facebook, so I've been keeping up there more than here, with little one-liners of what's happening. But there's really nothing like a good blog post, so I made some time today to come back with some updates and some new info.
Benjamin turned one in October '10 with no big fanfare. I made the same type of cake for him that I did for Lydia's birthday, but he was not interested in eating it, or even touching it. Poor little guy was a little sleepy by that time, though, so I blame his lack of enthusiasm on being tired. He is very much into solids now, though, eating whatever we eat. He has three molars partway in, and the last one will break the skin any day now.
He is still not walking independently, nor does he really want to. He likes to cruise, though. He has been cruising since late September (although when he started out, it was more like grabbing randomly at the furniture and stomping his feet, and accidentally moving a couple of inches) and his favorite spot to cruise now is on my office chair. He'll hold onto it and walk around and around and around. I've given him a few haircuts, and it's hard to do that because he's very interested in the scissors and wants to turn around and look at them instead of being still, so usually I either have to be very fast, or have to wait until hubby can help me hold his head still.
I've been trying to sign with him and he did "drink" finally, and just in the past couple of days did "more," but those are the only two he's really done. I'm going to keep working with him though because he still doesn't say much, either. His first word was "cup" which he said at about 15 months old, and he can say "hair" as well (but he leaves off the H and the R so it sounds more like "aaah," lol). I'm still nursing him about 3-5 times a day. I'm also still "teaching him to read." In my last entry, I mentioned the YBCR videos, and we do watch those every so often, but I didn't follow the plan as instructed. I found the Doman method, though, and started that around the time of his first birthday. He loves looking at his words. And I put "teaching him to read" in quotes because maybe he'll learn to read with this, or maybe he won't, but the goal isn't to get him to read early - it's just to help build extra brain connections so that later in life, he will have an easier time learning whatever he wants to.
Lydia turned four in December and is great to have around. She's helpful to me and it's nice that she's getting to be so tall, because I can send her to get things for me that she couldn't have reached a year prior (like socks for Benjamin). She talks a ton. I'll share some of the interesting things she'd said later in this post. But speaking of reading, I've put aside the 100 Easy Lessons for her. They stopped being easy. I think she was too young for something so structured and rigid. So I started up the Doman method with her as well (and still show her the YBCR videos occasionally as well, when I want to show some to Benjamin). And I've also gotten better about reading to her. Every couple of months or so, I go out to the library and get a big stack of early reading books, then at bedtime, I have her go pick one out and read it to her (this was a new habit for me to get into, reading to her, because usually I would have just put her to bed). After I read her a book a couple of times, she starts to memorize it and/or recognize the words, and can read it most of the way by herself. She also plays with her foam letters in the bathtub and makes words that way, some real, some not so real, haha.
Re: reading my Bible more. This goal is still in progress (and always will be), but I shared some struggles that I've been having in this area in my current season in life with a friend of mine, and she passed along a daily devotional book to me that I've been finding helpful. It really is just what I need - something daily and directed. So often, I may sit down to read but not have any plan, and not have any idea what to read on that particular day. So having something that already tells me what to read is helpful. I still need to work harder on doing Lydia's Bible lessons with her, though.
Re: saving for a house. The house is not happening this spring. :( We looked into renting a house (just to get out of this tiny apartment), but even that would be more than we can afford right now. I am still doing transcription, but one of my jobs lost their big contract, so that cut down my typing opportunities. I am still making play food (and other items) to sell, though, and finally stocked my Etsy store, and also continually update my Facebook Fan Page.
Re: housework. Since we are going to be in this apartment for a while, I finally lit a fire under myself to do some massive decluttering. I've done a little bit so far, but there is still a ton of work left to do. I try to do something every day, even if it's just something tiny like removing the unneeded items from a single drawer. My end goal to have everything done is May-ish. Hubby is also attempting to get in shape by May as well.
Re: exercising. I took a break from walking outside for the winter, but haven't done any additional exercises. I need to make time to do even the 1-mile walking video that we have, since that would probably be better than nothing. Lydia probably would enjoy doing it with me.
Hubby is still working at Schwan's. Some big changes are coming to it, though, which he'll find out more about on Thursday. It could end up meaning a pay cut for us, though, if he doesn't continue building his route appropriately. But he's gotten a fire lit under him as well and had a decent day on Saturday, doing some route-building. Two weeks ago, he also applied for Safety-Kleen (where my brother-in-law works, but he works up in Utah), but the only thing we've heard from there is that they've received our application. As each day passes with no further contact from them, I keep thinking that that is not the right path for us.
Now, here are just a few of the hilarious things that Lydia has done/said:
8/1/09 - I opened a can of biscuits this morning and arranged them on a baking stone. Then I turned my back briefly to wash off the "essence of biscuit." When I turned back around, I saw that Lydia had made off with one of the raw biscuits and taken a bite out of it. And she liked it.
9/24/09 - Benjamin wasn't due until 10/5, but this was at the "any time now" phase. I asked Lydia if she thought the baby would come in September or October. She said, "October. Just a little bitty October, okay?"
11/19/09 - I was checking Lydia's emerging molars, and she asked me what's in her mouth. I told her "teeth" and then she said, "My teeth are growing up." Meanwhile, Benjamin spit up a tiny bit while he was laying around, and Lydia said that he "spilled."
1/23/10 - Tim (while eating trail mix): "Here, Lydia. Try a Craisin."
Lydia: "Mmm. Can I have another crazy one?"
3/2/10 - You know the song "If You're Happy and You Know It." You also know the song "Oh Be Careful." Lydia combined the two, and was singing, "Oh, be careful little Amen what you do." She then followed that verse up with "Oh be careful little claps what you do" and "Oh be careful little stomps what you do."
4/29/10 - "That's the screamer, see? That's where the sound comes out, right there." We were at the mall and Lydia was talking about a speaker in the ceiling.
5/25/10 - I went to get Lydia out of her room (she had not slept at all) and found that she gained some weight during her naptime. She'd opened up her dresser and donned 4 shirts - 3 long-sleeve and one short-sleeve - all at once.
7/24/10 - Sometimes I bring Lydia on my early-morning walks. She likes to look at the roly polies (or pill bugs) with great interest. But if I suggest that she hold one so it can tickle her hand, she is all "no, thank you." She's afraid of them. On our walk yesterday, she found one and I picked it up and asked her again if she would like to hold it. She said no, and walked a few steps ahead of me. I knew she wouldn't change her mind, so I tossed it into the grass (which Lydia did not see me do). Lydia walked a few more steps and then stopped and looked at me and said, "Can you put it down?" I guess she wanted to make sure I wouldn't sneak up with it and trick her into holding it, lol.
7/28/10 - I've been teaching Lydia to say "excuse me" if someone is blocking her path. Just now, she said, "Excuse me. I have to get in your way." Um, not quite the lesson objective that I had in mind.
8/18/10 - 8/18 - Lydia noticed tonight that my phone shows a picture of my mom (who the grandkids call Rae Rae) when in a call with her. We were coming in after church tonight, and I had a bag of clothes for Benjamin with me. Lydia looked at Rae Rae on the phone, then at the bag of clothes. Then she held the phone over the bag and told Rae Rae to "Look!"
10/5/10 - We were at the store. I was looking at the dry-erase markers and Lydia was looking at the pencils. Then she takes a pack of them off the rack and turns around and says, "Here you go!" and offers them to a random customer who was walking by, lol.
11/8/10 - I was teasing Lydia while filling up her milk cup. First I said that the pitcher of water was milk. She said, "No, that's water." Then I grabbed out a little baggie of coffee grounds. She said, "No, that's ... that's ... that's dirt for coffee." LOL
12/2/10 - Lydia's first Bible reading of the new quarter is Exodus 1. I got about halfway through verse 2 when she suddenly interrupted me and then went on to name the rest of the 12 tribes of Israel by herself, lol.
Here are a few pictures and videos:
What do you MEAN the food is gone already?
Expressive Benjamin
Lydia reads Eddie the Racoon
Lydia crochets some "sausage" balls
Benjamin turned one in October '10 with no big fanfare. I made the same type of cake for him that I did for Lydia's birthday, but he was not interested in eating it, or even touching it. Poor little guy was a little sleepy by that time, though, so I blame his lack of enthusiasm on being tired. He is very much into solids now, though, eating whatever we eat. He has three molars partway in, and the last one will break the skin any day now.
He is still not walking independently, nor does he really want to. He likes to cruise, though. He has been cruising since late September (although when he started out, it was more like grabbing randomly at the furniture and stomping his feet, and accidentally moving a couple of inches) and his favorite spot to cruise now is on my office chair. He'll hold onto it and walk around and around and around. I've given him a few haircuts, and it's hard to do that because he's very interested in the scissors and wants to turn around and look at them instead of being still, so usually I either have to be very fast, or have to wait until hubby can help me hold his head still.
I've been trying to sign with him and he did "drink" finally, and just in the past couple of days did "more," but those are the only two he's really done. I'm going to keep working with him though because he still doesn't say much, either. His first word was "cup" which he said at about 15 months old, and he can say "hair" as well (but he leaves off the H and the R so it sounds more like "aaah," lol). I'm still nursing him about 3-5 times a day. I'm also still "teaching him to read." In my last entry, I mentioned the YBCR videos, and we do watch those every so often, but I didn't follow the plan as instructed. I found the Doman method, though, and started that around the time of his first birthday. He loves looking at his words. And I put "teaching him to read" in quotes because maybe he'll learn to read with this, or maybe he won't, but the goal isn't to get him to read early - it's just to help build extra brain connections so that later in life, he will have an easier time learning whatever he wants to.
Lydia turned four in December and is great to have around. She's helpful to me and it's nice that she's getting to be so tall, because I can send her to get things for me that she couldn't have reached a year prior (like socks for Benjamin). She talks a ton. I'll share some of the interesting things she'd said later in this post. But speaking of reading, I've put aside the 100 Easy Lessons for her. They stopped being easy. I think she was too young for something so structured and rigid. So I started up the Doman method with her as well (and still show her the YBCR videos occasionally as well, when I want to show some to Benjamin). And I've also gotten better about reading to her. Every couple of months or so, I go out to the library and get a big stack of early reading books, then at bedtime, I have her go pick one out and read it to her (this was a new habit for me to get into, reading to her, because usually I would have just put her to bed). After I read her a book a couple of times, she starts to memorize it and/or recognize the words, and can read it most of the way by herself. She also plays with her foam letters in the bathtub and makes words that way, some real, some not so real, haha.
Re: reading my Bible more. This goal is still in progress (and always will be), but I shared some struggles that I've been having in this area in my current season in life with a friend of mine, and she passed along a daily devotional book to me that I've been finding helpful. It really is just what I need - something daily and directed. So often, I may sit down to read but not have any plan, and not have any idea what to read on that particular day. So having something that already tells me what to read is helpful. I still need to work harder on doing Lydia's Bible lessons with her, though.
Re: saving for a house. The house is not happening this spring. :( We looked into renting a house (just to get out of this tiny apartment), but even that would be more than we can afford right now. I am still doing transcription, but one of my jobs lost their big contract, so that cut down my typing opportunities. I am still making play food (and other items) to sell, though, and finally stocked my Etsy store, and also continually update my Facebook Fan Page.
Re: housework. Since we are going to be in this apartment for a while, I finally lit a fire under myself to do some massive decluttering. I've done a little bit so far, but there is still a ton of work left to do. I try to do something every day, even if it's just something tiny like removing the unneeded items from a single drawer. My end goal to have everything done is May-ish. Hubby is also attempting to get in shape by May as well.
Re: exercising. I took a break from walking outside for the winter, but haven't done any additional exercises. I need to make time to do even the 1-mile walking video that we have, since that would probably be better than nothing. Lydia probably would enjoy doing it with me.
Hubby is still working at Schwan's. Some big changes are coming to it, though, which he'll find out more about on Thursday. It could end up meaning a pay cut for us, though, if he doesn't continue building his route appropriately. But he's gotten a fire lit under him as well and had a decent day on Saturday, doing some route-building. Two weeks ago, he also applied for Safety-Kleen (where my brother-in-law works, but he works up in Utah), but the only thing we've heard from there is that they've received our application. As each day passes with no further contact from them, I keep thinking that that is not the right path for us.
Now, here are just a few of the hilarious things that Lydia has done/said:
8/1/09 - I opened a can of biscuits this morning and arranged them on a baking stone. Then I turned my back briefly to wash off the "essence of biscuit." When I turned back around, I saw that Lydia had made off with one of the raw biscuits and taken a bite out of it. And she liked it.
9/24/09 - Benjamin wasn't due until 10/5, but this was at the "any time now" phase. I asked Lydia if she thought the baby would come in September or October. She said, "October. Just a little bitty October, okay?"
11/19/09 - I was checking Lydia's emerging molars, and she asked me what's in her mouth. I told her "teeth" and then she said, "My teeth are growing up." Meanwhile, Benjamin spit up a tiny bit while he was laying around, and Lydia said that he "spilled."
1/23/10 - Tim (while eating trail mix): "Here, Lydia. Try a Craisin."
Lydia: "Mmm. Can I have another crazy one?"
3/2/10 - You know the song "If You're Happy and You Know It." You also know the song "Oh Be Careful." Lydia combined the two, and was singing, "Oh, be careful little Amen what you do." She then followed that verse up with "Oh be careful little claps what you do" and "Oh be careful little stomps what you do."
4/29/10 - "That's the screamer, see? That's where the sound comes out, right there." We were at the mall and Lydia was talking about a speaker in the ceiling.
5/25/10 - I went to get Lydia out of her room (she had not slept at all) and found that she gained some weight during her naptime. She'd opened up her dresser and donned 4 shirts - 3 long-sleeve and one short-sleeve - all at once.
7/24/10 - Sometimes I bring Lydia on my early-morning walks. She likes to look at the roly polies (or pill bugs) with great interest. But if I suggest that she hold one so it can tickle her hand, she is all "no, thank you." She's afraid of them. On our walk yesterday, she found one and I picked it up and asked her again if she would like to hold it. She said no, and walked a few steps ahead of me. I knew she wouldn't change her mind, so I tossed it into the grass (which Lydia did not see me do). Lydia walked a few more steps and then stopped and looked at me and said, "Can you put it down?" I guess she wanted to make sure I wouldn't sneak up with it and trick her into holding it, lol.
7/28/10 - I've been teaching Lydia to say "excuse me" if someone is blocking her path. Just now, she said, "Excuse me. I have to get in your way." Um, not quite the lesson objective that I had in mind.
8/18/10 - 8/18 - Lydia noticed tonight that my phone shows a picture of my mom (who the grandkids call Rae Rae) when in a call with her. We were coming in after church tonight, and I had a bag of clothes for Benjamin with me. Lydia looked at Rae Rae on the phone, then at the bag of clothes. Then she held the phone over the bag and told Rae Rae to "Look!"
10/5/10 - We were at the store. I was looking at the dry-erase markers and Lydia was looking at the pencils. Then she takes a pack of them off the rack and turns around and says, "Here you go!" and offers them to a random customer who was walking by, lol.
11/8/10 - I was teasing Lydia while filling up her milk cup. First I said that the pitcher of water was milk. She said, "No, that's water." Then I grabbed out a little baggie of coffee grounds. She said, "No, that's ... that's ... that's dirt for coffee." LOL
12/2/10 - Lydia's first Bible reading of the new quarter is Exodus 1. I got about halfway through verse 2 when she suddenly interrupted me and then went on to name the rest of the 12 tribes of Israel by herself, lol.
Here are a few pictures and videos:
What do you MEAN the food is gone already?
Expressive Benjamin
Lydia reads Eddie the Racoon
Lydia crochets some "sausage" balls
Thursday, September 9, 2010
sticking to things
I'm either nine months late or four months early for New Year's resolutions, but now is as good a day as any and there's no time like the present and yadda yadda. I have a lot of things that I need/want to stick to, that I'm having trouble with. So here they are, in no particular order.
1. Reading my Bible. There is always room for improvement here, but right now, there is a LOT of room for improvement for me. I don't know how I slipped out of the habit. I used to read some every day, before breakfast even. I need to get back into it. I am full of turmoil about certain things and need His peace and instruction and wisdom to fill me up to overflowing.
2. Transcribing. Hubby and I talked to a realtor briefly a few days ago, and found out that the "good" news is that it is possible to buy a house with only 3.5% down (plus closing costs). That amount is a doable goal to save between now and next spring/summer. The bad news is that it will take diligence on my part, since most of that savings will be coming from my transcription while we live on just hubby's income. The problem is that I will sit down to do a 10-minute file (which should only take me 30-40 minutes) and I'll do two minutes then check my email. Then I'll do another two minutes and pop on Facebook. Then I'll do another 90 seconds and go grab a snack. And the work easily turns into an hour or more, but if I just sat and did it start to finish, it would take no time at all and I'd be done and could move on to another file or to housework or whatever.
3. Housework. I need to continue getting organized. I have spaces and stuff and stuff that needs to go and stuff that needs a space. I can sometimes think in my head what needs to be done, but then it can't be done when I think about it because it's too big a task or the kids are in bed and it involves leaving the house or this or that or the other. What I really need to do is just take 20 minutes and walk through the house, looking in all the cabinets and closets, and make a list of everything that needs to be done and set up a timeframe in which to do it. Because really, the things need to be done in a certain order, so I need to get to it and figure out in what order the things need to be done, then I can actually DO them.
4. Teaching the children. This is both for their Bible work and the secular work. Lydia has a daily Bible reading for her class, and a memory verse. I usually remember to do her items about an hour after she's in bed for the night. I need to do it earlier, maybe after I do her reading lesson. I am still going through the 100 Easy Lessons book, but only doing a lesson for 15 minutes at a time, then starting the same lesson the next day. She was starting to take up to 45 minutes just to do part of one lesson (leaving off the second story reading, and the writing) and it was stressing me out. So now I just do 15 minutes. And I am teaching Benjamin, too. I'm trying to be observant of him and what he's looking at and thinking, and help expand on his thoughts. I also finally put into use the Your Baby Can Read set that hubby's mom got us shortly after Benjamin was born.
I had tried using that with Lydia when she was about six months old, but it didn't "work" for her. I was excited about it at the time and it might have had results if I had continued the program, but we ended up moving about a month later and then had the start of our long spell of spotty employment four months after that, and doing a baby-reading program just wasn't very high of a priority.
But anyway, earlier this week, I finally took the items out of the package that hubby's mom had got for us. It ended up being the "Deluxe" kit. So not only did we have the five DVDs, but we also had a book for each DVD, a set of sliding cards for each DVD, a big set of flash cards, and a few other things. This kit also included an extensive "Parent's Guide" booklet and DVD. I read the booklet and watched the DVD. There are a LOT of less-than-stellar reviews of this product and a lot of naysayers ("Why would you want your baby to read early?" etc.), but the booklet and the DVD addressed so many of those common concerns.
I don't force Benjamin to sit and watch the DVD. Sometimes he wants to stand, instead. Ha, ha. That was my lame attempt at a joke, there. But seriously, he seems to like it. I sit and watch it with him and do the actions (lift arms, touch nose, things like that). And he loves the extras in the kit, too. This evening when I was showing him the sliding cards (these cards have a word on them, then they "slide open" to reveal a picture illustrating the word), he would start to squeal in anticipation of the picture being revealed.
The recommended schedule would take seven months from start to finish, but the booklet said that an older baby may be able to start recognizing the words before the "scheduled end" of the DVD viewing time. It told me of things to watch for to see if that is happening, and if it does, then I can move on to the next DVD early. I don't anticipate being able to do this with Benjamin, but I can see how it could happen with an older toddler. Lydia can already read most of the words on the first DVD. I'm sure that the 100 Easy Lessons that we've completed have helped her with that, but we haven't even been watching the DVDs for a full week yet, and she can already read the words on there. I can't advance to the next DVD for her, though, until Benjamin is ready, so I think that these DVDs and the 100 Easy Lessons will be a good complement to each other.
The program creator's own daughter was on the parent's DVD for part of a Q&A session with some people who were using the program. And I think it's sort of like a weight-loss ad, where such and such a person lost 50 pounds in two weeks and then the fine print says "Results not typical." I don't think that Aleka's results are typical, but if my kids can read a portion of how well she could, then I will be happy. And she didn't just read well over her grade level. She read FAST. It came out in the DVD that she read the entire Harry Potter series -- the whole SERIES -- in ONE day. I consider myself a pretty fast reader, but there's no way I could do THAT. And because she read so fast, she had a ton of time to do other things besides read and study.
5. Exercise. For a few months, I have been meeting up with another babywearing mama three times a week to go walking with her. I need to keep it up. I feel a little better on the days that I do it (but tired, since I get up earlier than normal so I can walk and be home by the time hubby goes to work). But if one or both of us need to cancel for whatever reason, I need to make sure to still get some activity in on my own. We have a set of Walk Away The Pounds DVDs that hubby likes to do sometimes, so I may do that on my "off" days.
1. Reading my Bible. There is always room for improvement here, but right now, there is a LOT of room for improvement for me. I don't know how I slipped out of the habit. I used to read some every day, before breakfast even. I need to get back into it. I am full of turmoil about certain things and need His peace and instruction and wisdom to fill me up to overflowing.
2. Transcribing. Hubby and I talked to a realtor briefly a few days ago, and found out that the "good" news is that it is possible to buy a house with only 3.5% down (plus closing costs). That amount is a doable goal to save between now and next spring/summer. The bad news is that it will take diligence on my part, since most of that savings will be coming from my transcription while we live on just hubby's income. The problem is that I will sit down to do a 10-minute file (which should only take me 30-40 minutes) and I'll do two minutes then check my email. Then I'll do another two minutes and pop on Facebook. Then I'll do another 90 seconds and go grab a snack. And the work easily turns into an hour or more, but if I just sat and did it start to finish, it would take no time at all and I'd be done and could move on to another file or to housework or whatever.
3. Housework. I need to continue getting organized. I have spaces and stuff and stuff that needs to go and stuff that needs a space. I can sometimes think in my head what needs to be done, but then it can't be done when I think about it because it's too big a task or the kids are in bed and it involves leaving the house or this or that or the other. What I really need to do is just take 20 minutes and walk through the house, looking in all the cabinets and closets, and make a list of everything that needs to be done and set up a timeframe in which to do it. Because really, the things need to be done in a certain order, so I need to get to it and figure out in what order the things need to be done, then I can actually DO them.
4. Teaching the children. This is both for their Bible work and the secular work. Lydia has a daily Bible reading for her class, and a memory verse. I usually remember to do her items about an hour after she's in bed for the night. I need to do it earlier, maybe after I do her reading lesson. I am still going through the 100 Easy Lessons book, but only doing a lesson for 15 minutes at a time, then starting the same lesson the next day. She was starting to take up to 45 minutes just to do part of one lesson (leaving off the second story reading, and the writing) and it was stressing me out. So now I just do 15 minutes. And I am teaching Benjamin, too. I'm trying to be observant of him and what he's looking at and thinking, and help expand on his thoughts. I also finally put into use the Your Baby Can Read set that hubby's mom got us shortly after Benjamin was born.
I had tried using that with Lydia when she was about six months old, but it didn't "work" for her. I was excited about it at the time and it might have had results if I had continued the program, but we ended up moving about a month later and then had the start of our long spell of spotty employment four months after that, and doing a baby-reading program just wasn't very high of a priority.
But anyway, earlier this week, I finally took the items out of the package that hubby's mom had got for us. It ended up being the "Deluxe" kit. So not only did we have the five DVDs, but we also had a book for each DVD, a set of sliding cards for each DVD, a big set of flash cards, and a few other things. This kit also included an extensive "Parent's Guide" booklet and DVD. I read the booklet and watched the DVD. There are a LOT of less-than-stellar reviews of this product and a lot of naysayers ("Why would you want your baby to read early?" etc.), but the booklet and the DVD addressed so many of those common concerns.
I don't force Benjamin to sit and watch the DVD. Sometimes he wants to stand, instead. Ha, ha. That was my lame attempt at a joke, there. But seriously, he seems to like it. I sit and watch it with him and do the actions (lift arms, touch nose, things like that). And he loves the extras in the kit, too. This evening when I was showing him the sliding cards (these cards have a word on them, then they "slide open" to reveal a picture illustrating the word), he would start to squeal in anticipation of the picture being revealed.
The recommended schedule would take seven months from start to finish, but the booklet said that an older baby may be able to start recognizing the words before the "scheduled end" of the DVD viewing time. It told me of things to watch for to see if that is happening, and if it does, then I can move on to the next DVD early. I don't anticipate being able to do this with Benjamin, but I can see how it could happen with an older toddler. Lydia can already read most of the words on the first DVD. I'm sure that the 100 Easy Lessons that we've completed have helped her with that, but we haven't even been watching the DVDs for a full week yet, and she can already read the words on there. I can't advance to the next DVD for her, though, until Benjamin is ready, so I think that these DVDs and the 100 Easy Lessons will be a good complement to each other.
The program creator's own daughter was on the parent's DVD for part of a Q&A session with some people who were using the program. And I think it's sort of like a weight-loss ad, where such and such a person lost 50 pounds in two weeks and then the fine print says "Results not typical." I don't think that Aleka's results are typical, but if my kids can read a portion of how well she could, then I will be happy. And she didn't just read well over her grade level. She read FAST. It came out in the DVD that she read the entire Harry Potter series -- the whole SERIES -- in ONE day. I consider myself a pretty fast reader, but there's no way I could do THAT. And because she read so fast, she had a ton of time to do other things besides read and study.
5. Exercise. For a few months, I have been meeting up with another babywearing mama three times a week to go walking with her. I need to keep it up. I feel a little better on the days that I do it (but tired, since I get up earlier than normal so I can walk and be home by the time hubby goes to work). But if one or both of us need to cancel for whatever reason, I need to make sure to still get some activity in on my own. We have a set of Walk Away The Pounds DVDs that hubby likes to do sometimes, so I may do that on my "off" days.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
august is gone
I'm not sure what happened to August, but I managed to let it slip by without any blog post at all. I blame Facebook. It's hard to sit down and write a big ol' blog entry, but so easy to do a quick status update.
Anyway. Benjamin's eczema is doing MUCH better. I picked up his fourth homeopathic remedy to try on 7/28, and by 8/11, he was better. It was only a slight improvement, but it was noticeable. He continued to improve over the next several days.
Before:
After (and this is his "bad" side):
His skin didn't clear up totally, though, and started getting worse again, so I gave him a second dose this past Sunday. The remedy he's on is a slow-acting one, so I'm watching it for improvement. I also had been off dairy, but went back on it about 8/1 because of being out of town. I had my doubts that it was dairy causing his eczema anyway, and I'm even more sure that dairy's not a culprit because while on this remedy, his eczema improved, despite me being back ON dairy (after being off for nearly six weeks).
I am still practicing part-time elimination communication with him. He is doing really well with it and on days where I offer the potty enough, he will hold it and wait for me to offer again. I don't expect him to be potty trained early or anything (far from it, given my struggles with Lydia, lol), but I just want to let him keep the idea in his head that a potty is an option. And this one day, I was letting him go potty, and Lydia came in and watched him and then tried to make the sign for "toilet" at him. She stuck her thumb between her fingers, made a fist, then shook it at Benjamin and said, "Potty! Potty! Potty!" It was so cute.
Lydia, on the other hand, had a ton of accidents around the trip, which is understandable. It was kind of ironic, though. I hadn't packed any Pull-ups for her, on purpose, b/c she did so well on the trip to Oklahoma. Well, the first two nights were disasters. So on the third night (and for the rest of her trip) I put her in Pull-ups. And of course, those were dry in the morning, lol. Then when we got back home, I put her back in undies, and was rewarded by a wet bed again for two nights. But now she is back to normal and is doing great.
Speaking of our trip, I do have several pictures from it, but first I'd like to talk about Lydia's reading again. I had dropped off the 100 Easy Lessons because of scheduling conflicts and the trip and everything, and tried to pick it back up again on Saturday. The "easy" lessons (we're in the 60s somewhere) are turning into long and hard ones. So what I'm doing now is setting the timer for 15 minutes and then if she's not done with the lesson, I put the lesson away and we'll do more of it the next day. Then I pick out a book and read her a story. I am a bad mom b/c I haven't been reading to her like I should. She needs that from me.
Anyway, on to the trip pictures. Here's Lydia with my Granny and Grandpa.
Lydia with her new outfit from Rae Rae (my mom) (and the funny thing about this outfit is that the hat and jumper came from two different places... but doesn't it match perfectly?):
Lydia in an Oklahoma wheat field sunset:
Water babies:
I'm still slowly working on getting organized. I moved some small furniture around and threw out some large boxes so far, and can now move on to some small things. A few immediate items are to clean out the bins in the "window" between the kitchen and dining room, organize the pantry, and go through the paperwork box. I hope to get those accomplished this week, amid transcription and a play food order.
Benjamin is crawling. He is now doing a proper hands-and-knees alternating crawl, but this video shows his early attempts. He seemed to just move whatever limb he was thinking about, lol. And even now, when he gets excited, he will forget about his legs and try to crawl just with his arms, which just gets him to a belly flop. :p He is also learning what "don't touch" and "come to mama" mean. I especially figure that the latter is easier to teach him now, when he actually WANTS to be with me. And "don't touch" is taught by a lot of repetition. He gets mad at me, but after about 10-15 tries and being told "no" and being removed from the item, he gives up and finds something else to do. Then 10-20 minutes later, he tries again. haha. But I will persevere and prevail. On the teeth front, he still just has those 6 teeth that he got months ago, with no more looming on the horizon yet. He is finally mostly sleeping through the night again, only waking up once most times (which is MUCH better than the 5-6 times per night he was doing in late July). He can "talk" a little bit. I think he's said "all done" before, when he was on the potty, and after he was, you know, all done. lol. He only did it a couple of times, though, and hasn't really said anything else (not even "mama" or anything). Anyway here is his video. :)
And here is Lydia, enjoying a... "drum" lol:
Anyway. Benjamin's eczema is doing MUCH better. I picked up his fourth homeopathic remedy to try on 7/28, and by 8/11, he was better. It was only a slight improvement, but it was noticeable. He continued to improve over the next several days.
Before:
After (and this is his "bad" side):
His skin didn't clear up totally, though, and started getting worse again, so I gave him a second dose this past Sunday. The remedy he's on is a slow-acting one, so I'm watching it for improvement. I also had been off dairy, but went back on it about 8/1 because of being out of town. I had my doubts that it was dairy causing his eczema anyway, and I'm even more sure that dairy's not a culprit because while on this remedy, his eczema improved, despite me being back ON dairy (after being off for nearly six weeks).
I am still practicing part-time elimination communication with him. He is doing really well with it and on days where I offer the potty enough, he will hold it and wait for me to offer again. I don't expect him to be potty trained early or anything (far from it, given my struggles with Lydia, lol), but I just want to let him keep the idea in his head that a potty is an option. And this one day, I was letting him go potty, and Lydia came in and watched him and then tried to make the sign for "toilet" at him. She stuck her thumb between her fingers, made a fist, then shook it at Benjamin and said, "Potty! Potty! Potty!" It was so cute.
Lydia, on the other hand, had a ton of accidents around the trip, which is understandable. It was kind of ironic, though. I hadn't packed any Pull-ups for her, on purpose, b/c she did so well on the trip to Oklahoma. Well, the first two nights were disasters. So on the third night (and for the rest of her trip) I put her in Pull-ups. And of course, those were dry in the morning, lol. Then when we got back home, I put her back in undies, and was rewarded by a wet bed again for two nights. But now she is back to normal and is doing great.
Speaking of our trip, I do have several pictures from it, but first I'd like to talk about Lydia's reading again. I had dropped off the 100 Easy Lessons because of scheduling conflicts and the trip and everything, and tried to pick it back up again on Saturday. The "easy" lessons (we're in the 60s somewhere) are turning into long and hard ones. So what I'm doing now is setting the timer for 15 minutes and then if she's not done with the lesson, I put the lesson away and we'll do more of it the next day. Then I pick out a book and read her a story. I am a bad mom b/c I haven't been reading to her like I should. She needs that from me.
Anyway, on to the trip pictures. Here's Lydia with my Granny and Grandpa.
Lydia with her new outfit from Rae Rae (my mom) (and the funny thing about this outfit is that the hat and jumper came from two different places... but doesn't it match perfectly?):
Lydia in an Oklahoma wheat field sunset:
Water babies:
I'm still slowly working on getting organized. I moved some small furniture around and threw out some large boxes so far, and can now move on to some small things. A few immediate items are to clean out the bins in the "window" between the kitchen and dining room, organize the pantry, and go through the paperwork box. I hope to get those accomplished this week, amid transcription and a play food order.
Benjamin is crawling. He is now doing a proper hands-and-knees alternating crawl, but this video shows his early attempts. He seemed to just move whatever limb he was thinking about, lol. And even now, when he gets excited, he will forget about his legs and try to crawl just with his arms, which just gets him to a belly flop. :p He is also learning what "don't touch" and "come to mama" mean. I especially figure that the latter is easier to teach him now, when he actually WANTS to be with me. And "don't touch" is taught by a lot of repetition. He gets mad at me, but after about 10-15 tries and being told "no" and being removed from the item, he gives up and finds something else to do. Then 10-20 minutes later, he tries again. haha. But I will persevere and prevail. On the teeth front, he still just has those 6 teeth that he got months ago, with no more looming on the horizon yet. He is finally mostly sleeping through the night again, only waking up once most times (which is MUCH better than the 5-6 times per night he was doing in late July). He can "talk" a little bit. I think he's said "all done" before, when he was on the potty, and after he was, you know, all done. lol. He only did it a couple of times, though, and hasn't really said anything else (not even "mama" or anything). Anyway here is his video. :)
And here is Lydia, enjoying a... "drum" lol:
Saturday, July 24, 2010
nine month stats and high school memories
Phew, I just managed to eke out another entry for July. Go me, haha. I might be able to squeeze another one in next week, depending on how busy things get. I barely find time for all the stuff I "need" to do, and then blogging is just extra.
Anyway. Well, after all that whining about potty training in my last post, I now can't remember the last major accident that she's had. She is really doing great, even for #2s and everything. And last night, she asked if she could wear undies to bed instead of a Pull-up and I asked her if she was going to keep the bed dry, and she said yes, so I gave it a try (she'd already been in undies for naps for quite a while with no incidents). She woke up dry. So we're trying it again tonight, too. I hope I don't jinx myself by saying that it's done, haha.
I'm still doing elimination communication with Benjamin, too, still very part-time. He's still not a whole lot closer to crawling than earlier this month, but he will very rarely get up on his hands and knees, briefly. And he is a GREAT sitter, now. I can set him down, and sometimes he'll stay just like that for an hour or more. But if I lay him down, he will roll all over the place. We had his nine-month appointment this month and he is 27" long (but I think he might be a smidgen longer) and he weighs 15 pounds and 14 ounces. The weight gain is quite a bit from the last time he was in the office. He's still quite the peanut, but it's apparent that I make tiny babies.
Some of the busy-ness that I mentioned earlier is because I am trying to get the apartment cleaned out of random stuff that we just plain don't need anymore. Papers will be the most challenging thing to go through, I think. I am a saver and a hoarder, lol. But there are a few small pieces of furniture that I want to move around to hopefully make the whole place a bit more organized, so we can start having people over again without them feeling like they've walked into clutter city. It's hard, though, because I have all these big ideas but then no time between all the other normal stuff like the kids and the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and the transcription (and the blogging, haha). I have started getting up early 3 days/week and going walking w/ a friend (and B, but leaving Lydia at home) and those days feel more productive to me overall.
We went to hubby's high school reunion last weekend. It wasn't a huge turnout, but the two people he wanted to come, came, so we got to see them and then a few other people. There was a short meet-and-greet at the school on Friday night, then a BBQ lunch on Saturday and a fancy dinner Saturday night. At the lunch, they had rented a bounce house. Lydia went in there for all of about 30 seconds before getting terrified and wanting out. She's also scared of the roly polies (or pill bugs) on my morning walk that I sometimes take her on. She'll sit and watch one all day long, but if I suggest she hold it, she gets terrified. I don't know how I ended up with such a fearful child. I wonder if she'll grow out of it at some point.
Hubby wants to teach a Bible class up at church at some point, too - but not the adult class. He wants to teach the middle schoolers. The class slots are assigned several quarters in advance, so he's already thinking about who he wants to ask to teach with him.
And here are another couple of videos. This first one is just Lydia being three, lol. It's pretty typical of how she acts all day. ALL day, lol. As a matter of fact, she's actually quite calm in this video.
And here's B laughing at me when I go up and down. It took me a bit to get his attention away from the camera, but the wait is worth it. :p
Anyway. Well, after all that whining about potty training in my last post, I now can't remember the last major accident that she's had. She is really doing great, even for #2s and everything. And last night, she asked if she could wear undies to bed instead of a Pull-up and I asked her if she was going to keep the bed dry, and she said yes, so I gave it a try (she'd already been in undies for naps for quite a while with no incidents). She woke up dry. So we're trying it again tonight, too. I hope I don't jinx myself by saying that it's done, haha.
I'm still doing elimination communication with Benjamin, too, still very part-time. He's still not a whole lot closer to crawling than earlier this month, but he will very rarely get up on his hands and knees, briefly. And he is a GREAT sitter, now. I can set him down, and sometimes he'll stay just like that for an hour or more. But if I lay him down, he will roll all over the place. We had his nine-month appointment this month and he is 27" long (but I think he might be a smidgen longer) and he weighs 15 pounds and 14 ounces. The weight gain is quite a bit from the last time he was in the office. He's still quite the peanut, but it's apparent that I make tiny babies.
Some of the busy-ness that I mentioned earlier is because I am trying to get the apartment cleaned out of random stuff that we just plain don't need anymore. Papers will be the most challenging thing to go through, I think. I am a saver and a hoarder, lol. But there are a few small pieces of furniture that I want to move around to hopefully make the whole place a bit more organized, so we can start having people over again without them feeling like they've walked into clutter city. It's hard, though, because I have all these big ideas but then no time between all the other normal stuff like the kids and the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and the transcription (and the blogging, haha). I have started getting up early 3 days/week and going walking w/ a friend (and B, but leaving Lydia at home) and those days feel more productive to me overall.
We went to hubby's high school reunion last weekend. It wasn't a huge turnout, but the two people he wanted to come, came, so we got to see them and then a few other people. There was a short meet-and-greet at the school on Friday night, then a BBQ lunch on Saturday and a fancy dinner Saturday night. At the lunch, they had rented a bounce house. Lydia went in there for all of about 30 seconds before getting terrified and wanting out. She's also scared of the roly polies (or pill bugs) on my morning walk that I sometimes take her on. She'll sit and watch one all day long, but if I suggest she hold it, she gets terrified. I don't know how I ended up with such a fearful child. I wonder if she'll grow out of it at some point.
Hubby wants to teach a Bible class up at church at some point, too - but not the adult class. He wants to teach the middle schoolers. The class slots are assigned several quarters in advance, so he's already thinking about who he wants to ask to teach with him.
And here are another couple of videos. This first one is just Lydia being three, lol. It's pretty typical of how she acts all day. ALL day, lol. As a matter of fact, she's actually quite calm in this video.
And here's B laughing at me when I go up and down. It took me a bit to get his attention away from the camera, but the wait is worth it. :p
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
books and bathrooms
Hm. I really need to get better at this blogging thing. One post a month does not make a very updated blog, lol. Anyway here is my first -- but hopefully not last -- entry for July.
I've been feeling a little down on myself lately. Fun events have happened, but they were events that I didn't get to go to. My schedule was open. It was an event that I would have greatly enjoyed. But I wasn't invited (and usually the hosts were people who I thought were closer friends than I guess they really are). I only found out about these events later, when the pictures or a mention of it was posted on Facebook or something. It's hard to just suck it up and move on, but that is what I need to do. There ARE people out there who love me for who I am, and I can't be invited to everything. It does still sting a little when I hear of yet another event that went on without me, though.
Lydia is doing well. I've actually started homeschooling her. :) There is a book out there that Tim's sister gave us called "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I started it with her a couple of months ago, and she really likes it and caught on pretty fast. It's really a great book and I've heard lots of good things from others who have used it on their children. Here's a little video of it in action:
But as well as she's doing with that, she's still not doing so well with potty training. She still has about 3-4 #2 accidents a week. I don't know what else to do with her. I can't find any pattern as to what causes them. Sometimes it's when she's busy playing, but that's not the case for all of them. I'm really at my wit's end with it. What makes it worse is that she has absolutely no qualms at all about going in the potty. She'll try if I ask her to and will almost always go (and we're still talking #2s here). I feel like I almost need to remind her ever half an hour or so, as if we were in the beginning of potty training instead of near the end.
Benjamin, however, is doing well with his "potty training." I'm able to let him "sit" on the big potty now (without a seat insert), so that definitely makes the cleanup easier, since I don't have to dump out and clean the small potty each time. I still offer just based on timing, but there are some really good days where I only use like 3 diapers all day long. If this continues to go well, I may get him some tiny undies for his first birthday. Having those would definitely make going potty in public a LOT easier than it is with a pinned diaper.
I did go off dairy and have been off it for about 3 weeks now. I had worse cravings this time than I did last time. But I am introducing some goat's milk and some raw cheese, and both of those seem to be tolerable. Benjamin was also extra fussy right after I went off dairy, but that fussiness ended up being caused by his teeth... he was working on numbers 5 and 6. He's really starting to get quite the toothy grin. :)
He's also increasingly mobile. Still not crawling, but he's getting closer. I'm guessing that he'll at least be army crawling by the end of this month. He can almost get up on his hands and knees. He sort of does it w/ a "straight" bottom, like if he is doing girly-style push-ups.
Another book that I've been reading is "Raising Your Spirited Child." I don't think Lydia is "spirited" per se, but she does have some of those characteristics. I'm taking that book and hopefully finding a bit of meat, then I can spit out the bones. But anyway, there was a chapter about introverts and extroverts, and that chapter was helpful to my relationship with Tim of all things. See, he is the poster child for extroverts, and my picture is in the dictionary next to introvert. That chapter explained a lot for both of us, and we kind of know better how to relate to each other now.
I've been feeling a little down on myself lately. Fun events have happened, but they were events that I didn't get to go to. My schedule was open. It was an event that I would have greatly enjoyed. But I wasn't invited (and usually the hosts were people who I thought were closer friends than I guess they really are). I only found out about these events later, when the pictures or a mention of it was posted on Facebook or something. It's hard to just suck it up and move on, but that is what I need to do. There ARE people out there who love me for who I am, and I can't be invited to everything. It does still sting a little when I hear of yet another event that went on without me, though.
Lydia is doing well. I've actually started homeschooling her. :) There is a book out there that Tim's sister gave us called "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I started it with her a couple of months ago, and she really likes it and caught on pretty fast. It's really a great book and I've heard lots of good things from others who have used it on their children. Here's a little video of it in action:
But as well as she's doing with that, she's still not doing so well with potty training. She still has about 3-4 #2 accidents a week. I don't know what else to do with her. I can't find any pattern as to what causes them. Sometimes it's when she's busy playing, but that's not the case for all of them. I'm really at my wit's end with it. What makes it worse is that she has absolutely no qualms at all about going in the potty. She'll try if I ask her to and will almost always go (and we're still talking #2s here). I feel like I almost need to remind her ever half an hour or so, as if we were in the beginning of potty training instead of near the end.
Benjamin, however, is doing well with his "potty training." I'm able to let him "sit" on the big potty now (without a seat insert), so that definitely makes the cleanup easier, since I don't have to dump out and clean the small potty each time. I still offer just based on timing, but there are some really good days where I only use like 3 diapers all day long. If this continues to go well, I may get him some tiny undies for his first birthday. Having those would definitely make going potty in public a LOT easier than it is with a pinned diaper.
I did go off dairy and have been off it for about 3 weeks now. I had worse cravings this time than I did last time. But I am introducing some goat's milk and some raw cheese, and both of those seem to be tolerable. Benjamin was also extra fussy right after I went off dairy, but that fussiness ended up being caused by his teeth... he was working on numbers 5 and 6. He's really starting to get quite the toothy grin. :)
He's also increasingly mobile. Still not crawling, but he's getting closer. I'm guessing that he'll at least be army crawling by the end of this month. He can almost get up on his hands and knees. He sort of does it w/ a "straight" bottom, like if he is doing girly-style push-ups.
Another book that I've been reading is "Raising Your Spirited Child." I don't think Lydia is "spirited" per se, but she does have some of those characteristics. I'm taking that book and hopefully finding a bit of meat, then I can spit out the bones. But anyway, there was a chapter about introverts and extroverts, and that chapter was helpful to my relationship with Tim of all things. See, he is the poster child for extroverts, and my picture is in the dictionary next to introvert. That chapter explained a lot for both of us, and we kind of know better how to relate to each other now.
Friday, June 18, 2010
off dairy again
I emailed B's homeopath a few days ago, since she wanted to hear from us about two weeks after I gave him the remedy. His eczema had cleared up some, but it came back, so she had me give him another dose and also suggested that I go off dairy again, this time for six weeks. Tim's high school reunion is in 4 weeks, so that weekend should be pretty interesting as far as meals go. I went through pretty severe withdrawals the first couple of days, but seem to be feeling a little better now. I'm a little nervous about getting all my calories, though, since dairy was a huge part of my diet. A lot of what I ate either was dairy itself or it had dairy in it. I picked up some almond milk and some soy ice cream. So far the almond milk seems fine (not sure if I like the unsweetened one or not, I may try coconut milk next time) but the soy ice cream made me feel a little nauseous afterward. I'm not holding out a ton of hope on dairy being his trigger since I did try it previously. He is showing some improvement, but that could just be the next dose of remedy doing its work, and not the dairy at all.
Not a whole lot else going on. I am finding it hard to keep on top of my chores, especially laundry. I keep saying that I will fold the clothes after "just one more load." But then while that load is washing and drying and being put away, another dirty load seems to just appear out of nowhere. Part of my problem is that I am still doing some transcription and have tried to do a little extra to help with B's medical bills from his recent tests, and for his visit to the homeopath. Plus, we need to gather together a few funds so that we have a small lump some so we can possibly go shopping for a large item next spring.
Not a whole lot else going on. I am finding it hard to keep on top of my chores, especially laundry. I keep saying that I will fold the clothes after "just one more load." But then while that load is washing and drying and being put away, another dirty load seems to just appear out of nowhere. Part of my problem is that I am still doing some transcription and have tried to do a little extra to help with B's medical bills from his recent tests, and for his visit to the homeopath. Plus, we need to gather together a few funds so that we have a small lump some so we can possibly go shopping for a large item next spring.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
growing and playing
Benjamin is gaining weight appropriately. His doctor did end up sending him for some blood tests (slightly elevated liver enzymes) and a liver ultrasound (normal). The on-site lactation consultant also asked me if I was getting enough calories. I was not, and after a week of counting my calories, he gained nearly 6 ounces. He is still gaining and today is right at 15 pounds. I'll be going in for roughly biweekly weight checks until his 9-month appointment later this summer.
I am still practicing elimination communication with him, and it is going well. I still can't tell at all when he needs to go, so I've just been doing it on timing. We went through a couple of phases where our communication seemed to be off, so I took brief breaks here and there. But so far, this week has been pretty good. I've even had my first #2 catch(es) since he was an infant. I'm so glad I kept doing it and didn't just give up altogether.
His eczema, on the other hand, not so great. It's still just as bad as it's always been. And just when I think I've found out which food it was that was causing it, his face gets worse, even before I re-introduce the potentially offending food. We did go ahead and go see a homeopath on the 19th, and she sent us home w/ a remedy that I will give him on Monday, then give it several weeks to see what affect it'll have. Meanwhile, a friend gave us a referral to a pediatric allergist so I may make an appointment to get a blood test for him, just to see if he is allergic to something that I can control.
And now if you made it this far, here are a couple of videos for your enjoyment.
Lydia decided to dress Benjamin up in her princess outfit. He liked it.
Here she is, teaching him a Bible class song until she saw me filming her, lol.
And you know how those sauce packets from a particular fast-food Mexican restaurant have cute and corny sayings on them? Here she is, "reading" them.
I am still practicing elimination communication with him, and it is going well. I still can't tell at all when he needs to go, so I've just been doing it on timing. We went through a couple of phases where our communication seemed to be off, so I took brief breaks here and there. But so far, this week has been pretty good. I've even had my first #2 catch(es) since he was an infant. I'm so glad I kept doing it and didn't just give up altogether.
His eczema, on the other hand, not so great. It's still just as bad as it's always been. And just when I think I've found out which food it was that was causing it, his face gets worse, even before I re-introduce the potentially offending food. We did go ahead and go see a homeopath on the 19th, and she sent us home w/ a remedy that I will give him on Monday, then give it several weeks to see what affect it'll have. Meanwhile, a friend gave us a referral to a pediatric allergist so I may make an appointment to get a blood test for him, just to see if he is allergic to something that I can control.
And now if you made it this far, here are a couple of videos for your enjoyment.
Lydia decided to dress Benjamin up in her princess outfit. He liked it.
Here she is, teaching him a Bible class song until she saw me filming her, lol.
And you know how those sauce packets from a particular fast-food Mexican restaurant have cute and corny sayings on them? Here she is, "reading" them.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
trying to heal my baby
Hm. My "dashboard" on here says that I made a post on March 31, but I can't find it now, so I guess I'll just start from here and give an update.
Lydia is doing so great with her potty training. She's even dry most nights now, too, but does still have the occasional accident. She takes herself to the potty and wipes and everything (but of course still needs help w/ #2s). It'll be interesting to see how she does on a 6.5-hour road trip next week.
Tim's job is going awesome. He had enough sales to "qualify" his own route and finally got his raise. :D He is really doing awesome and totally loves his work.
My work is also going fine. I'm still transcribing and also still making play food every now and then. I had two orders this month, one from someone I did know, and one from a total stranger. I'm still in the middle of the order from the stranger, but between that and transcribing and the children and everything else, I am definitely keeping busy.
B had his 6-month appointment a couple of weeks ago, and he only gained two ounces since his 4-month appointment. I am not concerned about my supply and have sort of been suspicious of reflux all along, so he is now on some reflux medication, and has been for just over a week. It seems to be helping. I also took him to a chiropractor on Thursday, who looked at his head and noticed it was slightly crooked, so she loosened his skull so that he could grow into it evenly. She also showed me a massage for his belly to help pull his stomach down into his abdomen instead of letting it be stuck up under his ribs. I don't know if I'm doing it right, though, b/c I can't find the "gap" that is supposed to be there when his stomach is in the proper spot.
She gave me some probiotics to start taking, and also recommended that I go see a homeopath. She noticed his eczema and so we talked a lot about that, and she thinks that it is food-related, but she also thinks that the homeopath can help me with that. So I am going to call her next week and hopefully be able to see her shortly after I return to town.
Benjamin really is a happy baby overall, though. He can finally roll both ways, though like his sister, he did it from back to front first. He can babble the "B" sound. He is smiley and talkative and usually in a good mood (which is part of what makes me doubt that he has reflux, but he did have several other symptoms, like refusal to eat and sour-smelling spit-up). I just want him to be as healthy as he can be. I have been praying to God to heal his eczema and/or show me how to help Benjamin heal, and right now, I think that a visit to the homeopath is the answer that He is giving us right now. She is also a nutritionist so she might have some words to share with me in that regard as well. I know that I did say in an earlier post that the saga was ending, but the comments that people keep saying to me are painful (even when they say "oh it looks like his skin is clearing up." Because yeah, maybe it's clearing up right at that moment... but maybe an hour later it'll be flared up again). He needs more help than I can give him by myself right now.
Lydia is doing so great with her potty training. She's even dry most nights now, too, but does still have the occasional accident. She takes herself to the potty and wipes and everything (but of course still needs help w/ #2s). It'll be interesting to see how she does on a 6.5-hour road trip next week.
Tim's job is going awesome. He had enough sales to "qualify" his own route and finally got his raise. :D He is really doing awesome and totally loves his work.
My work is also going fine. I'm still transcribing and also still making play food every now and then. I had two orders this month, one from someone I did know, and one from a total stranger. I'm still in the middle of the order from the stranger, but between that and transcribing and the children and everything else, I am definitely keeping busy.
B had his 6-month appointment a couple of weeks ago, and he only gained two ounces since his 4-month appointment. I am not concerned about my supply and have sort of been suspicious of reflux all along, so he is now on some reflux medication, and has been for just over a week. It seems to be helping. I also took him to a chiropractor on Thursday, who looked at his head and noticed it was slightly crooked, so she loosened his skull so that he could grow into it evenly. She also showed me a massage for his belly to help pull his stomach down into his abdomen instead of letting it be stuck up under his ribs. I don't know if I'm doing it right, though, b/c I can't find the "gap" that is supposed to be there when his stomach is in the proper spot.
She gave me some probiotics to start taking, and also recommended that I go see a homeopath. She noticed his eczema and so we talked a lot about that, and she thinks that it is food-related, but she also thinks that the homeopath can help me with that. So I am going to call her next week and hopefully be able to see her shortly after I return to town.
Benjamin really is a happy baby overall, though. He can finally roll both ways, though like his sister, he did it from back to front first. He can babble the "B" sound. He is smiley and talkative and usually in a good mood (which is part of what makes me doubt that he has reflux, but he did have several other symptoms, like refusal to eat and sour-smelling spit-up). I just want him to be as healthy as he can be. I have been praying to God to heal his eczema and/or show me how to help Benjamin heal, and right now, I think that a visit to the homeopath is the answer that He is giving us right now. She is also a nutritionist so she might have some words to share with me in that regard as well. I know that I did say in an earlier post that the saga was ending, but the comments that people keep saying to me are painful (even when they say "oh it looks like his skin is clearing up." Because yeah, maybe it's clearing up right at that moment... but maybe an hour later it'll be flared up again). He needs more help than I can give him by myself right now.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
the next big thing
My three big waits are over. Baby has arrived, hubby has a job, and Lydia is potty trained. I don't know what the "next big thing" is now. Just, life. Day-to-day stuff. Chores. There's nothing huge to wait for anymore. I am content.
For Lydia's potty training, I changed my approach at the end. I gave her tiny presents to unwrap if she did #2 in the potty. If she did #2 in her pants, I cleaned her up w/o any words at all (previously, I am embarrassed to say that I would sometimes lose it and yell in frustration). A few days of this, and she decided that #2s went in the potty. Then, one evening, she went to the potty all by herself, w/o me reminding her. And that was that. She's had a couple of accidents since then, but she is daytime trained, for naps and everything. Night-training could happen in a week or it could happen in a year or more. I'm not stressed about that at all.
Benjamin's "potty training" is going well, too. We have our phases that we go through were sometimes we're in tune with each other and other times we're not, but the past few days have been pretty good. It's a little easier overall now that he's bigger, and can sit by himself on the little potty w/ me helping him a little.
Tim's job is still going fine. There is someone up there who is leaving, and starting yesterday, that person took Tim out on his route so that he could introduce Tim to his customers... as his replacement. :) Yes, after over four months of "training," Tim is finally getting his own route. We are pretty excited about this.
My work is going fine, too. I'm still transcribing for two companies and love the flexible schedule. I also make play food and a few other crocheted items every now and then, when people want it, but it's not my "main thing" like I'd hoped it would be when I first started it.
I've gone through a partial purge here, w/ some clothes and toys and stuff. The half of the living room that doubles as Lydia's play area had previously been massively cluttered w/ random books and toys there. Nothing had a place of its own. I think that the purge has affected Lydia's attitude, for the better. She just seems "easier" seemingly overnight. It's hard to put the change into words, but it's there, definitely.
We had Benjamin's 4-month visit yesterday and he is 13 lbs 12 oz and 26" long and his head is 17" around. I did ask his doctor about his facial issues, and she thought it might be eczema. She said that, if I wanted, I could put straight Vaseline on it and also occasional hydrocortisone, but that she wouldn't do any more than that at this time. I also told her that I cut dairy out of my diet, and she said that I could continue that as well. The first time I cut it out, after about 11-12 days, he started to get better. Then I ate some cheese and sour cream, and he got worse again within hours. I'm now on day 10 of stopping dairy again and am seeing a very slight improvement.
Now I'm at the end of this post. I guess the next big thing will be home ownership, but that's too far away to even have a countdown for yet. Soon, though... soon. :)
For Lydia's potty training, I changed my approach at the end. I gave her tiny presents to unwrap if she did #2 in the potty. If she did #2 in her pants, I cleaned her up w/o any words at all (previously, I am embarrassed to say that I would sometimes lose it and yell in frustration). A few days of this, and she decided that #2s went in the potty. Then, one evening, she went to the potty all by herself, w/o me reminding her. And that was that. She's had a couple of accidents since then, but she is daytime trained, for naps and everything. Night-training could happen in a week or it could happen in a year or more. I'm not stressed about that at all.
Benjamin's "potty training" is going well, too. We have our phases that we go through were sometimes we're in tune with each other and other times we're not, but the past few days have been pretty good. It's a little easier overall now that he's bigger, and can sit by himself on the little potty w/ me helping him a little.
Tim's job is still going fine. There is someone up there who is leaving, and starting yesterday, that person took Tim out on his route so that he could introduce Tim to his customers... as his replacement. :) Yes, after over four months of "training," Tim is finally getting his own route. We are pretty excited about this.
My work is going fine, too. I'm still transcribing for two companies and love the flexible schedule. I also make play food and a few other crocheted items every now and then, when people want it, but it's not my "main thing" like I'd hoped it would be when I first started it.
I've gone through a partial purge here, w/ some clothes and toys and stuff. The half of the living room that doubles as Lydia's play area had previously been massively cluttered w/ random books and toys there. Nothing had a place of its own. I think that the purge has affected Lydia's attitude, for the better. She just seems "easier" seemingly overnight. It's hard to put the change into words, but it's there, definitely.
We had Benjamin's 4-month visit yesterday and he is 13 lbs 12 oz and 26" long and his head is 17" around. I did ask his doctor about his facial issues, and she thought it might be eczema. She said that, if I wanted, I could put straight Vaseline on it and also occasional hydrocortisone, but that she wouldn't do any more than that at this time. I also told her that I cut dairy out of my diet, and she said that I could continue that as well. The first time I cut it out, after about 11-12 days, he started to get better. Then I ate some cheese and sour cream, and he got worse again within hours. I'm now on day 10 of stopping dairy again and am seeing a very slight improvement.
Now I'm at the end of this post. I guess the next big thing will be home ownership, but that's too far away to even have a countdown for yet. Soon, though... soon. :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
the newborn acne saga ends here
No new pictures today. He looks about the same. Just some thoughts, instead. I'm probably a little crazy, but anyway here they are.
So, my peers have babies who have beautiful skin. I don't know a single other in-real-life baby (younger than 6 months old) who has even a little bit of redness. So my baby is red. Maybe it'll go away. Maybe it's eczema. Maybe it's yeast. Maybe the cause will never be known and he'll stay red indefinitely.
And? I'm okay with that. This is MY baby that God saw fit to bless me with. Benjamin is a smiley, happy baby. He doesn't have colic. He is (usually) easy to sooth. He's growing. I wouldn't think that his disposition would be so happy if the rash were bothersome to him.
He's already three months old. Three months! I don't know where the time went. Yes I do. It disappeared while I kept dwelling on his appearance instead of who he is. I don't want to let any more unnecessary time escape, time that I could instead spend watching him grow.
Sure, I'll mention it at his next doctor visit. And maybe he'll outgrow it. Maybe he won't. I'm not going to keep my life on "pause" any more. He and I are getting pictures made on Friday, a gift from Mom. Back when she and I were talking about it, I had the brief thought that his skin would be better come picture time. But I can't hit the "pause" button for life. He will only be three months old once, and then it's gone.
I don't want to miss the important things.
So, my peers have babies who have beautiful skin. I don't know a single other in-real-life baby (younger than 6 months old) who has even a little bit of redness. So my baby is red. Maybe it'll go away. Maybe it's eczema. Maybe it's yeast. Maybe the cause will never be known and he'll stay red indefinitely.
And? I'm okay with that. This is MY baby that God saw fit to bless me with. Benjamin is a smiley, happy baby. He doesn't have colic. He is (usually) easy to sooth. He's growing. I wouldn't think that his disposition would be so happy if the rash were bothersome to him.
He's already three months old. Three months! I don't know where the time went. Yes I do. It disappeared while I kept dwelling on his appearance instead of who he is. I don't want to let any more unnecessary time escape, time that I could instead spend watching him grow.
Sure, I'll mention it at his next doctor visit. And maybe he'll outgrow it. Maybe he won't. I'm not going to keep my life on "pause" any more. He and I are getting pictures made on Friday, a gift from Mom. Back when she and I were talking about it, I had the brief thought that his skin would be better come picture time. But I can't hit the "pause" button for life. He will only be three months old once, and then it's gone.
I don't want to miss the important things.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
a new year with new challenges... and some old ones
One of my new challenges is to get in better shape. It's not really a "New Year's Resolution" per se, but since I just happen to be about 3 months postpartum and also still about 16 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight (I haven't lost any additional weight since the first two weeks), it's time to be a little more proactive. Our apartment remodeled the old laundry room into a workout room. I have been there twice so far... once to check it out, and once to actually do a session. I just did the treadmill and will probably stick with that for the forseeable future, unless it's busy, and then I will probably do the stepper. I've never really thought my diet was TOO terrible, but when I keep thinking about exercising, it's also making me think twice about what I eat, too, like for snacks and whatnot. I need to get more fruits and veggies and fewer chips and cookies. Or maybe I can put the fruits and veggies IN the chips and cookies, lol, like make dried veggie chips and then put carrots and zucchini in the cookies.
An always-ongoing challenge is finances, of course. We are very very blessed to have received an answer to our prayers for a good job for hubby, but after nearly four months on the job, he still does not have his own route yet and therefore is still making "training" pay. He tells me that he is next in line to get one, though, so hopefully any day now we will have some changes. Meanwhile, the training pay comes just slightly short of our monthly needs, so I have been continuing to work as well. I have narrowed down all my transcription things to just two companies, and between the two of them, it's a nice supplement to hubby's job. January is also a month where his job gets three checks, so there's that "extra" money, too, which will help keep us afloat.
Benjamin is growing like a weed. I weighed him today and he is 13 lbs 13 oz. Lydia didn't reach that weight until nearly 10 months. He has a double chin and is very smiley and loves to "talk" to people. I've gotten to where I can get him up on my back for grocery store trips, and it's SO much comfier than wearing him on my front. I am trying to branch out to a few different ways to wrap him up there, but am having a few failures intermixed with my successes. But at least I CAN get him there. We are still ECing with him as well, and that is also still having its hits and misses. He still has skin issues on his face. His dr said at his 2 month appointment that it was just acne and sensitive skin, but I'm starting to wonder if it's eczema and if he's sensitive to something in my diet. I tried to keep a food log b/c the redness does come and go (although it's heavier on the "come" side than the "go" side), but I really eat the exact same thing every day so that didn't help me any.
Lydia has entered the terrible threes in full force. Whenever I'm consistent with her discipline, she is a dream child, but if I slack even in the very slightest, she sees that as an opportunity to whine, cry, run away when I call her, etc. It is hard to be consistent w/ Benjamin around, since often times he is nursing or needing a diaper or whatever at the same time that she needs attention, but with prayers and with the grace of God, I will continue to try to be a better mother each day than I was the day before. And tomorrow it will be easy to do that, because today, I did not have a good day, mostly related to her potty training, or lack thereof. I got upset at a situation in the evening, and told her how I really felt. :(
But let me elaborate on the potty training and then you might be able to at least understand my frustrations. Last week, I set up a posterboard in the bathroom. On it, there are pictures of pee and poop in the potty (ok pictures of potties and then I colored some brown and yellow... I wanted it to be real but not TOO real, lol), pictures of wet and dirty diapers being put into the pail, a picture of Lydia "telling" me and hubby that she needs to go potty, and a picture of a dry diaper. She was with me while I was making it, and I talked it up, but it still took a few days or so for her to understand what it was for. But she seemed to like it. Oh and at the very bottom was a picture of her "prize"... some Dora panties.
She is still not catching on that she needs to (eventually) initiate her own trips to the potty. But she does things that get my hopes up, and then does other things that just make me really feel like she WILL be wearing diapers to college. On Sunday, she stayed dry (in a Pull-up) ALL DAY, including a #2 in the afternoon. Granted, I was taking her more often than I would have gone myself (and I initiated all the trips), but still, ALL DAY... including eating out after church and being out late like that (she went early at the restaurant and then not again until we got home). But then today, it was diaper after diaper. She did have one instance where I was in the bathroom, and she was in there too, w/ a wet diaper, so I took the old diaper off while I was sitting down and she was standing next to me. Then while her diaper was off and I finished up my business, she sat down UNPROMPTED on her little potty and went #1. Then she thought about it and said she had to go #2, and a few minutes later, she did that as well... also in her potty. We celebrated and got stickers and I started to put a diaper back on her (trying to save the $$$ Pull-ups for church) but she wanted a Pull-up. I told her that she needed to go to the potty on her own and if she peed or pooped in it, then she'd be getting a diaper. Not even FIVE minutes later... she did #2... IN the Pull-up. Yay. Then this evening right before bed, another #2, in her diaper. :( And it was one that was really hard to clean up, too.
So that is where we are with that. I don't want to close on that unhappy note, so I'll share a couple of recent pictures of Benjamin, since it's been a while since I shared.
An always-ongoing challenge is finances, of course. We are very very blessed to have received an answer to our prayers for a good job for hubby, but after nearly four months on the job, he still does not have his own route yet and therefore is still making "training" pay. He tells me that he is next in line to get one, though, so hopefully any day now we will have some changes. Meanwhile, the training pay comes just slightly short of our monthly needs, so I have been continuing to work as well. I have narrowed down all my transcription things to just two companies, and between the two of them, it's a nice supplement to hubby's job. January is also a month where his job gets three checks, so there's that "extra" money, too, which will help keep us afloat.
Benjamin is growing like a weed. I weighed him today and he is 13 lbs 13 oz. Lydia didn't reach that weight until nearly 10 months. He has a double chin and is very smiley and loves to "talk" to people. I've gotten to where I can get him up on my back for grocery store trips, and it's SO much comfier than wearing him on my front. I am trying to branch out to a few different ways to wrap him up there, but am having a few failures intermixed with my successes. But at least I CAN get him there. We are still ECing with him as well, and that is also still having its hits and misses. He still has skin issues on his face. His dr said at his 2 month appointment that it was just acne and sensitive skin, but I'm starting to wonder if it's eczema and if he's sensitive to something in my diet. I tried to keep a food log b/c the redness does come and go (although it's heavier on the "come" side than the "go" side), but I really eat the exact same thing every day so that didn't help me any.
Lydia has entered the terrible threes in full force. Whenever I'm consistent with her discipline, she is a dream child, but if I slack even in the very slightest, she sees that as an opportunity to whine, cry, run away when I call her, etc. It is hard to be consistent w/ Benjamin around, since often times he is nursing or needing a diaper or whatever at the same time that she needs attention, but with prayers and with the grace of God, I will continue to try to be a better mother each day than I was the day before. And tomorrow it will be easy to do that, because today, I did not have a good day, mostly related to her potty training, or lack thereof. I got upset at a situation in the evening, and told her how I really felt. :(
But let me elaborate on the potty training and then you might be able to at least understand my frustrations. Last week, I set up a posterboard in the bathroom. On it, there are pictures of pee and poop in the potty (ok pictures of potties and then I colored some brown and yellow... I wanted it to be real but not TOO real, lol), pictures of wet and dirty diapers being put into the pail, a picture of Lydia "telling" me and hubby that she needs to go potty, and a picture of a dry diaper. She was with me while I was making it, and I talked it up, but it still took a few days or so for her to understand what it was for. But she seemed to like it. Oh and at the very bottom was a picture of her "prize"... some Dora panties.
She is still not catching on that she needs to (eventually) initiate her own trips to the potty. But she does things that get my hopes up, and then does other things that just make me really feel like she WILL be wearing diapers to college. On Sunday, she stayed dry (in a Pull-up) ALL DAY, including a #2 in the afternoon. Granted, I was taking her more often than I would have gone myself (and I initiated all the trips), but still, ALL DAY... including eating out after church and being out late like that (she went early at the restaurant and then not again until we got home). But then today, it was diaper after diaper. She did have one instance where I was in the bathroom, and she was in there too, w/ a wet diaper, so I took the old diaper off while I was sitting down and she was standing next to me. Then while her diaper was off and I finished up my business, she sat down UNPROMPTED on her little potty and went #1. Then she thought about it and said she had to go #2, and a few minutes later, she did that as well... also in her potty. We celebrated and got stickers and I started to put a diaper back on her (trying to save the $$$ Pull-ups for church) but she wanted a Pull-up. I told her that she needed to go to the potty on her own and if she peed or pooped in it, then she'd be getting a diaper. Not even FIVE minutes later... she did #2... IN the Pull-up. Yay. Then this evening right before bed, another #2, in her diaper. :( And it was one that was really hard to clean up, too.
So that is where we are with that. I don't want to close on that unhappy note, so I'll share a couple of recent pictures of Benjamin, since it's been a while since I shared.
Monday, December 28, 2009
stuck in the car for twenty-three hours
It should have just been a 6.5 trip under normal conditions. But the weather + abandoned cars + stuck cars + panicky drivers = a 23-hour long trip instead. With a newborn and a toddler.
It started out somewhat normally on Christmas Eve. Tim had to work that day so we were going to go up to Amarillo (from Dallas) that night, and get to my parents' house sometime shortly after midnight. The very first leg of the trip was very slow, before we even got out of Dallas, but it was because of an accident. After we passed the accident, the traffic picked up a little in speed. It was still snowing at this time (about 7:00 p.m.), but very lightly, and visibility was good.
We continued on our path, going up through Denton to Decatur. Traffic continued plugging along slowly, moving down to one lane b/c of how the weather was. The roads were snowy and icy, but nothing completely undrivable. We had just over half a tank of gas left when we reached Decatur, and decided to go ahead and fill up at that time. We also bought a 16-oz coffee. The cup would come in handy later.
Not even two or three miles up from that gas station, traffic came to an absolute standstill. No movement whatsoever. And it stayed like that for a couple of hours. We literally moved fewer than 20 yards in 2 hours. I tried to sleep a little but it's hard to sleep in a car, especially when you can't move the seat down b/c of passengers in the back. Later on, Tim tried to sleep some as well.
There was a hill shortly up the road, and a DPS worker was letting the cars go by one at a time and saying "drive on that spot on the hill so you can get traction and don't slide back down." He also said that we should be able to make it all the way to Wichita Falls (normally about 70 minutes of traveling time) but that the roads would be like this the whole way (one lane, icy, etc.). We were moving again. The snow had completely stopped by now and visibility was as good as it could be, for being in the middle of the night.
We did NOT make it to Wichita Falls before we were stopped again. This time, we were on a slight curve in the road, and we could see the 50+ cars each in front of and behind us, in the same predicament. We would have loved to pull off the road and go into a hotel somewhere and wait it out, but there was a median with 8-10" drifts in it on one side, and a big ditch on the other. During this stoppage, someone in a Ford Focus tried to drive in the other lane, and they got stuck shortly in front of us and were going nowhere fast. Tim got out to try to help, and also to help another car that had gotten stuck as well.
The coffee was long since gone, as was the water we had brought, and I was getting thirsty. Tim took the empty coffee cup and stepped off the road into some untouched snow and filled it up for me, so it could melt and I could eat it. I couldn't wait for it to melt, though, and so I ate little bits of ice. It helped some, but what I really needed was ounces of water, not mere teaspoons.
We watched the sun rise at one of the stuck spots, and Benjamin finally woke up to eat. I had Tim get out and pass him to me in the front seat, and I fed him while sitting in the car in the line of non-moving traffic. And I changed his diaper on my lap a few times. All of them were #2 diapers. If the traffic were moving at all, even inches at a time, I would not have fed him in the front seat like that. We were completely stopped for all 4-5 of his feeds that he needed while in the line.
We were nearing half a tank of gas again, and pulled off to a 7-11 station. They had no gas at the time, only diesel. It was about 10:00 a.m. at this time. The road briefly had two drivable lanes, and there was someone behind and to the left of us who got Tim's attention right after he buckled Benjamin back up after a feed. It was a family and the mama asked if I had any water, and told Tim that if I'm breastfeeding then I need some water, and she gave him a bottle for me. :)
The next gas station we came to was one at Iowa Park (still normally 30 minutes before Wichita Falls), and this one DID have gas, and a long line for the bathroom, and food. I let Tim run in to the bathroom first and then I took Lydia out so she could stretch her legs. Except for a brief diaper change earlier, she hadn't been out of her car seat at all. Poor thing was such a trooper though. She did not want to walk on the ice, though, and at the very slightest slip, she started crying and needed me to carry her. So I went to the bathroom and got some food and more water while Tim was pumping gas. I came back outside to find several people helping him to get up the icy hill to leave the station. Part of the problem was the ice, definitely, but I think another part of the problem was that the parking brake was still on. We did get out of that station with little ado and were on our way again. This was about 1:15 p.m. We had now been on the road for 19 hours.
Once inside Wichita Falls, the traffic moved along w/ one lane. There were a ton of abandoned vehicles still on the road that we had to weave around. And you know those big signs in large cities that will say what the traffic conditions are, like for rush hours? There was one of those signs in Wichita Falls, and it said that US-287 (the road we were on and needed to stay on) was closed west of the city. We were hoping that it was just an old message and we would be able to continue moving. And we did, slowly. We were averaging about 5 to 10 MPH during this time.
We passed some "encouraging" road signs that said things like "Amarillo... 231 miles." At our current speed, that meant it would take us 23 to 46 hours to get there, lol. And outside of Wichita Falls, we did have one final hour or so of standstill before we were able to get going again. But sometime between Wichita Falls and Vernon, we saw spots of real pavement. The slush got less and less, and we were able to finish the trip in the usual amount of time, and even go the normal speed limit. We finally reached my parents' house at 5:15 p.m., a full 23 hours after we had started out.
I am glad we were able to spend some time with them, but I just wish it had been a little more time. Tim did say that I could probably take a longer trip up there in the spring, though.
It started out somewhat normally on Christmas Eve. Tim had to work that day so we were going to go up to Amarillo (from Dallas) that night, and get to my parents' house sometime shortly after midnight. The very first leg of the trip was very slow, before we even got out of Dallas, but it was because of an accident. After we passed the accident, the traffic picked up a little in speed. It was still snowing at this time (about 7:00 p.m.), but very lightly, and visibility was good.
We continued on our path, going up through Denton to Decatur. Traffic continued plugging along slowly, moving down to one lane b/c of how the weather was. The roads were snowy and icy, but nothing completely undrivable. We had just over half a tank of gas left when we reached Decatur, and decided to go ahead and fill up at that time. We also bought a 16-oz coffee. The cup would come in handy later.
Not even two or three miles up from that gas station, traffic came to an absolute standstill. No movement whatsoever. And it stayed like that for a couple of hours. We literally moved fewer than 20 yards in 2 hours. I tried to sleep a little but it's hard to sleep in a car, especially when you can't move the seat down b/c of passengers in the back. Later on, Tim tried to sleep some as well.
There was a hill shortly up the road, and a DPS worker was letting the cars go by one at a time and saying "drive on that spot on the hill so you can get traction and don't slide back down." He also said that we should be able to make it all the way to Wichita Falls (normally about 70 minutes of traveling time) but that the roads would be like this the whole way (one lane, icy, etc.). We were moving again. The snow had completely stopped by now and visibility was as good as it could be, for being in the middle of the night.
We did NOT make it to Wichita Falls before we were stopped again. This time, we were on a slight curve in the road, and we could see the 50+ cars each in front of and behind us, in the same predicament. We would have loved to pull off the road and go into a hotel somewhere and wait it out, but there was a median with 8-10" drifts in it on one side, and a big ditch on the other. During this stoppage, someone in a Ford Focus tried to drive in the other lane, and they got stuck shortly in front of us and were going nowhere fast. Tim got out to try to help, and also to help another car that had gotten stuck as well.
The coffee was long since gone, as was the water we had brought, and I was getting thirsty. Tim took the empty coffee cup and stepped off the road into some untouched snow and filled it up for me, so it could melt and I could eat it. I couldn't wait for it to melt, though, and so I ate little bits of ice. It helped some, but what I really needed was ounces of water, not mere teaspoons.
We watched the sun rise at one of the stuck spots, and Benjamin finally woke up to eat. I had Tim get out and pass him to me in the front seat, and I fed him while sitting in the car in the line of non-moving traffic. And I changed his diaper on my lap a few times. All of them were #2 diapers. If the traffic were moving at all, even inches at a time, I would not have fed him in the front seat like that. We were completely stopped for all 4-5 of his feeds that he needed while in the line.
We were nearing half a tank of gas again, and pulled off to a 7-11 station. They had no gas at the time, only diesel. It was about 10:00 a.m. at this time. The road briefly had two drivable lanes, and there was someone behind and to the left of us who got Tim's attention right after he buckled Benjamin back up after a feed. It was a family and the mama asked if I had any water, and told Tim that if I'm breastfeeding then I need some water, and she gave him a bottle for me. :)
The next gas station we came to was one at Iowa Park (still normally 30 minutes before Wichita Falls), and this one DID have gas, and a long line for the bathroom, and food. I let Tim run in to the bathroom first and then I took Lydia out so she could stretch her legs. Except for a brief diaper change earlier, she hadn't been out of her car seat at all. Poor thing was such a trooper though. She did not want to walk on the ice, though, and at the very slightest slip, she started crying and needed me to carry her. So I went to the bathroom and got some food and more water while Tim was pumping gas. I came back outside to find several people helping him to get up the icy hill to leave the station. Part of the problem was the ice, definitely, but I think another part of the problem was that the parking brake was still on. We did get out of that station with little ado and were on our way again. This was about 1:15 p.m. We had now been on the road for 19 hours.
Once inside Wichita Falls, the traffic moved along w/ one lane. There were a ton of abandoned vehicles still on the road that we had to weave around. And you know those big signs in large cities that will say what the traffic conditions are, like for rush hours? There was one of those signs in Wichita Falls, and it said that US-287 (the road we were on and needed to stay on) was closed west of the city. We were hoping that it was just an old message and we would be able to continue moving. And we did, slowly. We were averaging about 5 to 10 MPH during this time.
We passed some "encouraging" road signs that said things like "Amarillo... 231 miles." At our current speed, that meant it would take us 23 to 46 hours to get there, lol. And outside of Wichita Falls, we did have one final hour or so of standstill before we were able to get going again. But sometime between Wichita Falls and Vernon, we saw spots of real pavement. The slush got less and less, and we were able to finish the trip in the usual amount of time, and even go the normal speed limit. We finally reached my parents' house at 5:15 p.m., a full 23 hours after we had started out.
I am glad we were able to spend some time with them, but I just wish it had been a little more time. Tim did say that I could probably take a longer trip up there in the spring, though.
Friday, December 11, 2009
when being abnormal is a bad thing
There were some things in my past that I could classify as abuse. These things caused me to build a little wall. I thought I healed and I thought I tore down the wall, but maybe I didn't. Sometimes being abnormal is OK (like we as Christians are a peculiar people) but sometimes it's not OK. I think that my wall is still there. Sometimes I just feel... not "sad" really, but just emotionless in general, almost like I'm afraid or unable to feel anything very deeply. Like with the birth of my children... I didn't feel a huge adrenaline rush with either one of them. I didn't have thoughts of "OH it's my BABY and you're here and I'm so excited to meet you!" The thoughts were more like "oh, hi baby. You came out. Nice to meet you." When I watch the video of my son's birth, it's evident to me the lack of strong emotions.
Now don't get me wrong, I DO love my kids. But more often than not, it's more of a mental thing than an emotional thing. It's like I am taking care of them and stuff and just going through the motions that I mentally know that I'm "supposed" to, and that's the main driver.
I wouldn't be so concerned, except that from the time I was a child, being a mom was ALL I wanted to do. That was it. I didn't want to have a career when I grew up. Being a mom WAS the career I wanted. Then years later now that I AM a mom, I'm like "this is it? This is all there is?" The excitement and happiness and love that I thought when I was younger that I'd have, just isn't there w/ the expected intensity.
And it's not like I CAN'T feel things intensely. I have before. But just not in the recent past, or even in the short-term past. And I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older or if I really am NOT normal this way, b/c of the wall that I've built. I can't break down this wall myself. But it needs to go. The people around me are suffering and they deserve better. Somewhere on the mess of the dining room/craft table is the book outlining the benefits that Tim gets at his job, and I am going to see if there is some sort of counseling hotline there first. Maybe they can either reassure me or maybe they can refer me for further assistance.
But enough about that. In other news, potty training is actually moving FORWARD with Lydia! Sometime while we were out of town at Thanksgiving, she started being able to reliably go #1 whenever we put her on the potty. And sometimes she could even do #2, too. She totally doesn't feel the urge to go on her OWN yet, and doesn't care or notice if her diaper is wet (like if she's playing or whatever), so I can see this still being a several-months-long process, but I am pleased with some progress, finally.
Now don't get me wrong, I DO love my kids. But more often than not, it's more of a mental thing than an emotional thing. It's like I am taking care of them and stuff and just going through the motions that I mentally know that I'm "supposed" to, and that's the main driver.
I wouldn't be so concerned, except that from the time I was a child, being a mom was ALL I wanted to do. That was it. I didn't want to have a career when I grew up. Being a mom WAS the career I wanted. Then years later now that I AM a mom, I'm like "this is it? This is all there is?" The excitement and happiness and love that I thought when I was younger that I'd have, just isn't there w/ the expected intensity.
And it's not like I CAN'T feel things intensely. I have before. But just not in the recent past, or even in the short-term past. And I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older or if I really am NOT normal this way, b/c of the wall that I've built. I can't break down this wall myself. But it needs to go. The people around me are suffering and they deserve better. Somewhere on the mess of the dining room/craft table is the book outlining the benefits that Tim gets at his job, and I am going to see if there is some sort of counseling hotline there first. Maybe they can either reassure me or maybe they can refer me for further assistance.
But enough about that. In other news, potty training is actually moving FORWARD with Lydia! Sometime while we were out of town at Thanksgiving, she started being able to reliably go #1 whenever we put her on the potty. And sometimes she could even do #2, too. She totally doesn't feel the urge to go on her OWN yet, and doesn't care or notice if her diaper is wet (like if she's playing or whatever), so I can see this still being a several-months-long process, but I am pleased with some progress, finally.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
"potty training" my son
Yes, my son, and no, I'm not talking about a future event. I hope nobody thinks I've gone completely off my rocker after reading this blog entry, lol. Anyway, it's not really potty training, but elimination communication. There are any number of sites and books out there that go into more detail on it, but the gist of it is that newborns and infants give off signals when they're about to go to the bathroom. Parents can pick up on these signals, even part time, and an infant can start to hold it until being held over the toilet or small potty bowl. Then the parent can start giving "cue sounds" to help the infant make an association between the sound and the going.
Anyway I had heard about this a long time ago, probably when I was pregnant with Lydia or even before that. I tried it with her, but didn't really start until she was 15 months or so, but that was too late already. If a baby's signals aren't being read by the parent, then the baby will eventually stop giving them as they continually "learn" to use their diaper instead. Then when the baby is a few years old, they have to "unlearn" how to use the diaper and how TO use the potty.
So far, I've been pretty much a failure at trying to potty train Lydia. I was also a failure when I tried to potty train our cats, back when we had them. (Don't laugh too hard, there's actually an entire Yahoo group dedicated to helping people learn how to toilet train their cats... TOILET train, not litter box train.) So when I wondered if I could do elimination communication (or EC for short) with Benjamin, I went into the adventure stresslessly, without any expectations. In fact, I was more thinking that I'd fail rather than have any success at it, since I can't seem to get Lydia potty trained properly. But I was pleased and surprised at the early results so far.
It sort of started subconsciously a few weeks ago, because I noticed that when he was nursing, he'd sometimes pop on and off for a few minutes, then do a #2, then be able to relax and nurse. So that was one clear signal that he gave. Another more subtle one is sometimes he will just seem to be staring off into space, and then a #2 comes out of nowhere. But yesterday, I started trying to take him to the potty. I had several "catches" (what EC-ers call it when the #1 and/or #2 goes into the potty) yesterday, including one after Tim got home from work late that night. That catch was about 10 seconds after Tim walked past the bathroom, and he was amused and curious as to why I was holding our baby over the toilet. Then today, I've had more #2 catches in the toilet than have been in the diaper. One of them was after he'd been napping for only about an hour. I heard him stirring in the other room and went to get him, undressed him, and found his diaper was dry and clean. I held him over the toilet, and within less than 2 minutes, the #2 came and he was much relieved. Once he was more comfortable, he nursed back to sleep and I expect the rest of his nap to last about 2.5 hours or so.
In other news, I'm looking forward to going out of town to see my family next week for the holiday. Lydia is finally getting her 2-year molars... all 4 of them at once. Tim is really loving his new job, but is in the middle of working 10 straight days, including Sunday, so that he will be off for Thursday and Friday and can come with me out of town (and that schedule was a company-wide thing rather than his choice to work those particular days).
Anyway I had heard about this a long time ago, probably when I was pregnant with Lydia or even before that. I tried it with her, but didn't really start until she was 15 months or so, but that was too late already. If a baby's signals aren't being read by the parent, then the baby will eventually stop giving them as they continually "learn" to use their diaper instead. Then when the baby is a few years old, they have to "unlearn" how to use the diaper and how TO use the potty.
So far, I've been pretty much a failure at trying to potty train Lydia. I was also a failure when I tried to potty train our cats, back when we had them. (Don't laugh too hard, there's actually an entire Yahoo group dedicated to helping people learn how to toilet train their cats... TOILET train, not litter box train.) So when I wondered if I could do elimination communication (or EC for short) with Benjamin, I went into the adventure stresslessly, without any expectations. In fact, I was more thinking that I'd fail rather than have any success at it, since I can't seem to get Lydia potty trained properly. But I was pleased and surprised at the early results so far.
It sort of started subconsciously a few weeks ago, because I noticed that when he was nursing, he'd sometimes pop on and off for a few minutes, then do a #2, then be able to relax and nurse. So that was one clear signal that he gave. Another more subtle one is sometimes he will just seem to be staring off into space, and then a #2 comes out of nowhere. But yesterday, I started trying to take him to the potty. I had several "catches" (what EC-ers call it when the #1 and/or #2 goes into the potty) yesterday, including one after Tim got home from work late that night. That catch was about 10 seconds after Tim walked past the bathroom, and he was amused and curious as to why I was holding our baby over the toilet. Then today, I've had more #2 catches in the toilet than have been in the diaper. One of them was after he'd been napping for only about an hour. I heard him stirring in the other room and went to get him, undressed him, and found his diaper was dry and clean. I held him over the toilet, and within less than 2 minutes, the #2 came and he was much relieved. Once he was more comfortable, he nursed back to sleep and I expect the rest of his nap to last about 2.5 hours or so.
In other news, I'm looking forward to going out of town to see my family next week for the holiday. Lydia is finally getting her 2-year molars... all 4 of them at once. Tim is really loving his new job, but is in the middle of working 10 straight days, including Sunday, so that he will be off for Thursday and Friday and can come with me out of town (and that schedule was a company-wide thing rather than his choice to work those particular days).
Thursday, November 12, 2009
adjusting slowly but surely
I'm not back to 100% yet, but getting there slowly. Some days I think that I can handle being a mom of two after all. But there are still those hours here and there where I still just wonder what I got myself into and lament the fact that it's too late to change my mind about being a parent even of one child, never mind two. I'm still sleep-deprived although I have started taking a short nap if both of them happen to be napping at the same time. And he is starting to sleep a little more at night, from about 11-6 with one brief waking, so that seems to help a little, too. But right now with him it's just eat, diaper, cry, diaper, eat, eat, cry, diaper, eat, cry, diaper, cry, sleep, sleep, diaper, eat, cry, sleep, diaper. And some of that crying is from me and not from Benjamin, lol.
Lydia continues to be a challenge and a joy at the same time. She continues to randomly get my hopes up for potty training. Like this evening in her bath, she randomly said that she went in the tub, and that she wanted out. I asked her if she wanted to go in her potty and get new bathwater and she said yes, and she went in her potty right away. But all day long, she never mentioned or noticed her diaper, and also said that there was no #2 in a particular diaper when I asked her, but really there was.
Benjamin is still "suffering" from some newborn acne. (It's just visually unappealing, but doesn't seem to bother him at all.) I am ready for it to go away. It had some improvement earlier this month but hasn't made any additional improvement since then, that I can tell. Other than that, though, he's doing well, growing and gaining. On Saturday he was 10 lbs even and 23.5" long. I had that one "awake" smile when he was about 3 weeks old but am still waiting for any more. In the meantime, though, I sure do love the cooing. I don't remember Lydia starting her cooing this early, but Benjamin's been doing it nearly since birth, it seems. Here's a short clip where he has a sound in the beginning and then a few more near the end.
Lydia continues to be a challenge and a joy at the same time. She continues to randomly get my hopes up for potty training. Like this evening in her bath, she randomly said that she went in the tub, and that she wanted out. I asked her if she wanted to go in her potty and get new bathwater and she said yes, and she went in her potty right away. But all day long, she never mentioned or noticed her diaper, and also said that there was no #2 in a particular diaper when I asked her, but really there was.
Benjamin is still "suffering" from some newborn acne. (It's just visually unappealing, but doesn't seem to bother him at all.) I am ready for it to go away. It had some improvement earlier this month but hasn't made any additional improvement since then, that I can tell. Other than that, though, he's doing well, growing and gaining. On Saturday he was 10 lbs even and 23.5" long. I had that one "awake" smile when he was about 3 weeks old but am still waiting for any more. In the meantime, though, I sure do love the cooing. I don't remember Lydia starting her cooing this early, but Benjamin's been doing it nearly since birth, it seems. Here's a short clip where he has a sound in the beginning and then a few more near the end.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
two is hard, really hard
Several months ago, I posted about three big things that I was waiting on that were causing me a great deal of stress. Two of those waits (a job for hubby and the arrival of Benjamin) are now finished. I am thankful to God EVERY DAY for how those items ended up. Tim loves his job. It's an awesome fit for him. It's something that he can do for the rest of his life. It meets our needs. And as for Benjamin, we were able to have a successful homebirth which went very smoothly.
The third wait (Lydia's potty training) is once again at a standstill. She doesn't understand the process or notice her internal signals. At all. Her 3-year well-child visit is in about 6 weeks, and since I doubt that anything will change between now and then, I plan on asking her doctor about it. I have had other parents give me tips and stuff that worked for their children, but I don't know... maybe I'll just feel better if I hear from the doctor that she's still normal and not to worry about anything. And maybe she'll even have some suggestions that I haven't heard yet, and I could try those. There are a few things that I haven't tried (like having her run around in regular panties or w/o anything on her bottom at all)... but now that Benjamin's here, it would be hard to chase her around with a bottle of Resolve. We live in a tiny, yardless apartment where the only non-carpeted areas are the kitchen and the bathroom, and the latter might as well be carpeted b/c of all the bathmats that are in it. And the kitchen linoleum gets very slippery when wet, so I don't want her to fall and be afraid of the whole thing. But I am just waiting for now.
But aside from that, getting to the title of my post today... being a mom of two is hard, WAY WAY harder than being a mom of one. People have told me that going from one to two the hardest, harder even than going from two to three (maybe I need to hurry up and have #3 and that'll "cure" me, haha). But I had NO IDEA that it would be this difficult. My nearly 3 year old is becoming increasingly defiant, and I don't know if it's her age or if she's just testing me b/c of the new situation. I'm exhausted all the time and can't "sleep when the baby sleeps" like I could when I just had one, b/c otherwise my toddler would wreak havoc. Benjamin so far seems to be a more difficult baby than Lydia was, or maybe I'm just not remembering her early days very clearly. Stir in a significant helping of postpartum hormones and a mild to moderate case of the baby blues, and it's just not an appetizing mixture at all. I'm hoping to feel better in the next few weeks, but in the meantime, I am just taking one day at a time, one hour at a time. As hectic as this time is, I know that it'll pass way too soon, so I need to try to find the enjoyable moments and remember those.
And on that note, here's another few pictures from the past couple of weeks.
Hanging out in the living room.
Benjamin and his daddy.
A bad case of newborn acne... 19 days old is too young to be going through adolescence already.
The third wait (Lydia's potty training) is once again at a standstill. She doesn't understand the process or notice her internal signals. At all. Her 3-year well-child visit is in about 6 weeks, and since I doubt that anything will change between now and then, I plan on asking her doctor about it. I have had other parents give me tips and stuff that worked for their children, but I don't know... maybe I'll just feel better if I hear from the doctor that she's still normal and not to worry about anything. And maybe she'll even have some suggestions that I haven't heard yet, and I could try those. There are a few things that I haven't tried (like having her run around in regular panties or w/o anything on her bottom at all)... but now that Benjamin's here, it would be hard to chase her around with a bottle of Resolve. We live in a tiny, yardless apartment where the only non-carpeted areas are the kitchen and the bathroom, and the latter might as well be carpeted b/c of all the bathmats that are in it. And the kitchen linoleum gets very slippery when wet, so I don't want her to fall and be afraid of the whole thing. But I am just waiting for now.
But aside from that, getting to the title of my post today... being a mom of two is hard, WAY WAY harder than being a mom of one. People have told me that going from one to two the hardest, harder even than going from two to three (maybe I need to hurry up and have #3 and that'll "cure" me, haha). But I had NO IDEA that it would be this difficult. My nearly 3 year old is becoming increasingly defiant, and I don't know if it's her age or if she's just testing me b/c of the new situation. I'm exhausted all the time and can't "sleep when the baby sleeps" like I could when I just had one, b/c otherwise my toddler would wreak havoc. Benjamin so far seems to be a more difficult baby than Lydia was, or maybe I'm just not remembering her early days very clearly. Stir in a significant helping of postpartum hormones and a mild to moderate case of the baby blues, and it's just not an appetizing mixture at all. I'm hoping to feel better in the next few weeks, but in the meantime, I am just taking one day at a time, one hour at a time. As hectic as this time is, I know that it'll pass way too soon, so I need to try to find the enjoyable moments and remember those.
And on that note, here's another few pictures from the past couple of weeks.
Hanging out in the living room.
Benjamin and his daddy.
A bad case of newborn acne... 19 days old is too young to be going through adolescence already.
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