march? it's march already?

I'm still wondering what happened to February. I'm still keeping up on Facebook, but I will try to pop in here twice a month to make an update, maybe with pictures, maybe with videos, since there's really only so much that can be said in the 420-character limit that Facebook imposes on status updates.

Benjamin is walking all over the place now. He started walking slightly later than Lydia did (at 16 months instead of 15), but like her, he took only a very short time to go from 100% crawling to 100% walking. He is also talking quite a bit, saying "words" like amen, cup, diaper, potty, and banana.


He also had surgery a few days ago to remove the cyst under his eyebrow which had been there since birth. He looked great right after surgery (he woke up MAD but calmed down once we were in the car), but then over the following couple of days, his poor eye got bruised and swollen.


The swelling is gone now, but the bruising remains and is working its way out. I had no idea that eye surgery would cause that much bruising and swelling. He was such a trooper though and didn't let it slow him down at all.

The daily Bible devotional that someone passed along to me has been helpful. I have skipped a few days, but try to read every day during naptime, while it's quiet. And since the quarter is new, I've also gotten on the ball with doing Lydia's daily readings as well. I do hers with her at bedtime, in between her prayer and her other story.

She is turning into quite the reader herself, though, and I have to hold the Bible away from her while I read it, or else she will get distracted looking for words on the page that she knows instead of listening to the story. She loves going to the library and getting new books. Here she is reading one of them (and hubby and I had not read this one to her before this video at all - it was completely new to her).


And here she is reading some out of her children's Bible.


She is also into writing. She wrote this note for a friend of hers. It says, "Happy birthday to my friend Aaliyah and Lydia."


Since she's so into reading and writing, I am going to get her a dry-erase writing practice tablet for Easter, along with a fat preschool workbook that I'll do with her. The workbook also includes cutting and pasting, which she hasn't done at all, and coloring specific colors, which she hasn't done (she has colored freely, which is good, but I think it's time for her to also be able to follow instructions).

She continues to amaze me with the way her mind works and the things she says and does. I am part of an e-mail list for Christian ladies, where we take turns sharing some spiritual e-mails that we write. I wrote one when Benjamin was a newborn, outlining how we should be like a newborn, but then since then, I've been stuck on topics. I sent an e-mail to the organizer and she sent back some suggestions, one of which was to take some of the things that Lydia says and find a spiritual application for them. So I am doing that, and less than a week later, already have several ideas to outline.

I have gotten very, very little done on the decluttering front. It's just so hard to do with two little kids running around all day. I am trying to still do some every day, but sometimes a week goes by and I've done nothing, and the clutter grows during that time, which just further demotivates me. The last time we had people in our home was right after Benjamin was born, when people brought us some meals, and since I was newly postpartum, I had a reason for the mess. But before that, I can't remember the last time we had people over. I want to be able to have people over again, but not if walking through our apartment is going to be hazardous.

Hubby has taken it upon himself to lose some weight, and he's been making slow but sure progress in that arena. It helps that I pack his lunch every day now instead of him grabbing some random fast food wherever he's at (and this is also helping our checkbook as well). I, on the other hand, have gained weight and am now at my highest non-pregnant weight that I've ever been. I've been stress-eating and need to stop.

I mentioned some possible changes for hubby's job last time, and those changes have started this past week. And yes, it DOES mean a pay cut for us - and quite a substantial one. The company changed the commission structure and they pay a tiered commission on daily sales now instead of weekly sales. Overall, they pay out more commission now than before, but the base is significantly lower now as well. The pay cut will remain until hubby builds up his route. A couple of days are already built up to a good level, but others lack a good $500 in sales before it will meet our needs. And his new salary, by itself, is now not enough for us to live on.

We've cut our budget where we can, but I am stepping up working now as well. My play food sales are flatlining, but I am still doing transcription. The company that pays me better rates has actually been backed up for weeks. When I log in, there are pages and pages of jobs available, whereas before, sometimes I could log in and there be either nothing or just a job or two. So I've been taking advantage of this backlog (since I don't know how long it will last) and doing what I can to help make up the difference coming from hubby's lost pay.

So that working is part of the reason I've been absent on this blog and absent from doing decluttering, but other stuff keeping me from it is Facebook and other online things and various games and stuff. I just need to cut WAY WAY back on those things and concentrate on what's important - God and family.

a new year full of changes

Apparently one of the major changes that I'm making this year is to stop writing in this blog, haha. No, really, I didn't intend to do that. But about two years ago, the hubby introduced me to Facebook, so I've been keeping up there more than here, with little one-liners of what's happening. But there's really nothing like a good blog post, so I made some time today to come back with some updates and some new info.

Benjamin turned one in October '10 with no big fanfare. I made the same type of cake for him that I did for Lydia's birthday, but he was not interested in eating it, or even touching it. Poor little guy was a little sleepy by that time, though, so I blame his lack of enthusiasm on being tired. He is very much into solids now, though, eating whatever we eat. He has three molars partway in, and the last one will break the skin any day now.

He is still not walking independently, nor does he really want to. He likes to cruise, though. He has been cruising since late September (although when he started out, it was more like grabbing randomly at the furniture and stomping his feet, and accidentally moving a couple of inches) and his favorite spot to cruise now is on my office chair. He'll hold onto it and walk around and around and around. I've given him a few haircuts, and it's hard to do that because he's very interested in the scissors and wants to turn around and look at them instead of being still, so usually I either have to be very fast, or have to wait until hubby can help me hold his head still.

I've been trying to sign with him and he did "drink" finally, and just in the past couple of days did "more," but those are the only two he's really done. I'm going to keep working with him though because he still doesn't say much, either. His first word was "cup" which he said at about 15 months old, and he can say "hair" as well (but he leaves off the H and the R so it sounds more like "aaah," lol). I'm still nursing him about 3-5 times a day. I'm also still "teaching him to read." In my last entry, I mentioned the YBCR videos, and we do watch those every so often, but I didn't follow the plan as instructed. I found the Doman method, though, and started that around the time of his first birthday. He loves looking at his words. And I put "teaching him to read" in quotes because maybe he'll learn to read with this, or maybe he won't, but the goal isn't to get him to read early - it's just to help build extra brain connections so that later in life, he will have an easier time learning whatever he wants to.

Lydia turned four in December and is great to have around. She's helpful to me and it's nice that she's getting to be so tall, because I can send her to get things for me that she couldn't have reached a year prior (like socks for Benjamin). She talks a ton. I'll share some of the interesting things she'd said later in this post. But speaking of reading, I've put aside the 100 Easy Lessons for her. They stopped being easy. I think she was too young for something so structured and rigid. So I started up the Doman method with her as well (and still show her the YBCR videos occasionally as well, when I want to show some to Benjamin). And I've also gotten better about reading to her. Every couple of months or so, I go out to the library and get a big stack of early reading books, then at bedtime, I have her go pick one out and read it to her (this was a new habit for me to get into, reading to her, because usually I would have just put her to bed). After I read her a book a couple of times, she starts to memorize it and/or recognize the words, and can read it most of the way by herself. She also plays with her foam letters in the bathtub and makes words that way, some real, some not so real, haha.

Re: reading my Bible more. This goal is still in progress (and always will be), but I shared some struggles that I've been having in this area in my current season in life with a friend of mine, and she passed along a daily devotional book to me that I've been finding helpful. It really is just what I need - something daily and directed. So often, I may sit down to read but not have any plan, and not have any idea what to read on that particular day. So having something that already tells me what to read is helpful. I still need to work harder on doing Lydia's Bible lessons with her, though.

Re: saving for a house. The house is not happening this spring. :( We looked into renting a house (just to get out of this tiny apartment), but even that would be more than we can afford right now. I am still doing transcription, but one of my jobs lost their big contract, so that cut down my typing opportunities. I am still making play food (and other items) to sell, though, and finally stocked my Etsy store, and also continually update my Facebook Fan Page.

Re: housework. Since we are going to be in this apartment for a while, I finally lit a fire under myself to do some massive decluttering. I've done a little bit so far, but there is still a ton of work left to do. I try to do something every day, even if it's just something tiny like removing the unneeded items from a single drawer. My end goal to have everything done is May-ish. Hubby is also attempting to get in shape by May as well.

Re: exercising. I took a break from walking outside for the winter, but haven't done any additional exercises. I need to make time to do even the 1-mile walking video that we have, since that would probably be better than nothing. Lydia probably would enjoy doing it with me.

Hubby is still working at Schwan's. Some big changes are coming to it, though, which he'll find out more about on Thursday. It could end up meaning a pay cut for us, though, if he doesn't continue building his route appropriately. But he's gotten a fire lit under him as well and had a decent day on Saturday, doing some route-building. Two weeks ago, he also applied for Safety-Kleen (where my brother-in-law works, but he works up in Utah), but the only thing we've heard from there is that they've received our application. As each day passes with no further contact from them, I keep thinking that that is not the right path for us.

Now, here are just a few of the hilarious things that Lydia has done/said:

8/1/09 - I opened a can of biscuits this morning and arranged them on a baking stone. Then I turned my back briefly to wash off the "essence of biscuit." When I turned back around, I saw that Lydia had made off with one of the raw biscuits and taken a bite out of it. And she liked it.

9/24/09 - Benjamin wasn't due until 10/5, but this was at the "any time now" phase. I asked Lydia if she thought the baby would come in September or October. She said, "October. Just a little bitty October, okay?"

11/19/09 - I was checking Lydia's emerging molars, and she asked me what's in her mouth. I told her "teeth" and then she said, "My teeth are growing up." Meanwhile, Benjamin spit up a tiny bit while he was laying around, and Lydia said that he "spilled."

1/23/10 - Tim (while eating trail mix): "Here, Lydia. Try a Craisin."
Lydia: "Mmm. Can I have another crazy one?"

3/2/10 - You know the song "If You're Happy and You Know It." You also know the song "Oh Be Careful." Lydia combined the two, and was singing, "Oh, be careful little Amen what you do." She then followed that verse up with "Oh be careful little claps what you do" and "Oh be careful little stomps what you do."

4/29/10 - "That's the screamer, see? That's where the sound comes out, right there." We were at the mall and Lydia was talking about a speaker in the ceiling.

5/25/10 - I went to get Lydia out of her room (she had not slept at all) and found that she gained some weight during her naptime. She'd opened up her dresser and donned 4 shirts - 3 long-sleeve and one short-sleeve - all at once.

7/24/10 - Sometimes I bring Lydia on my early-morning walks. She likes to look at the roly polies (or pill bugs) with great interest. But if I suggest that she hold one so it can tickle her hand, she is all "no, thank you." She's afraid of them. On our walk yesterday, she found one and I picked it up and asked her again if she would like to hold it. She said no, and walked a few steps ahead of me. I knew she wouldn't change her mind, so I tossed it into the grass (which Lydia did not see me do). Lydia walked a few more steps and then stopped and looked at me and said, "Can you put it down?" I guess she wanted to make sure I wouldn't sneak up with it and trick her into holding it, lol.

7/28/10 - I've been teaching Lydia to say "excuse me" if someone is blocking her path. Just now, she said, "Excuse me. I have to get in your way." Um, not quite the lesson objective that I had in mind.

8/18/10 - 8/18 - Lydia noticed tonight that my phone shows a picture of my mom (who the grandkids call Rae Rae) when in a call with her. We were coming in after church tonight, and I had a bag of clothes for Benjamin with me. Lydia looked at Rae Rae on the phone, then at the bag of clothes. Then she held the phone over the bag and told Rae Rae to "Look!"

10/5/10 - We were at the store. I was looking at the dry-erase markers and Lydia was looking at the pencils. Then she takes a pack of them off the rack and turns around and says, "Here you go!" and offers them to a random customer who was walking by, lol.

11/8/10 - I was teasing Lydia while filling up her milk cup. First I said that the pitcher of water was milk. She said, "No, that's water." Then I grabbed out a little baggie of coffee grounds. She said, "No, that's ... that's ... that's dirt for coffee." LOL

12/2/10 - Lydia's first Bible reading of the new quarter is Exodus 1. I got about halfway through verse 2 when she suddenly interrupted me and then went on to name the rest of the 12 tribes of Israel by herself, lol.

Here are a few pictures and videos:



What do you MEAN the food is gone already?




Expressive Benjamin


Lydia reads Eddie the Racoon


Lydia crochets some "sausage" balls

sticking to things

I'm either nine months late or four months early for New Year's resolutions, but now is as good a day as any and there's no time like the present and yadda yadda. I have a lot of things that I need/want to stick to, that I'm having trouble with. So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Reading my Bible. There is always room for improvement here, but right now, there is a LOT of room for improvement for me. I don't know how I slipped out of the habit. I used to read some every day, before breakfast even. I need to get back into it. I am full of turmoil about certain things and need His peace and instruction and wisdom to fill me up to overflowing.

2. Transcribing. Hubby and I talked to a realtor briefly a few days ago, and found out that the "good" news is that it is possible to buy a house with only 3.5% down (plus closing costs). That amount is a doable goal to save between now and next spring/summer. The bad news is that it will take diligence on my part, since most of that savings will be coming from my transcription while we live on just hubby's income. The problem is that I will sit down to do a 10-minute file (which should only take me 30-40 minutes) and I'll do two minutes then check my email. Then I'll do another two minutes and pop on Facebook. Then I'll do another 90 seconds and go grab a snack. And the work easily turns into an hour or more, but if I just sat and did it start to finish, it would take no time at all and I'd be done and could move on to another file or to housework or whatever.

3. Housework. I need to continue getting organized. I have spaces and stuff and stuff that needs to go and stuff that needs a space. I can sometimes think in my head what needs to be done, but then it can't be done when I think about it because it's too big a task or the kids are in bed and it involves leaving the house or this or that or the other. What I really need to do is just take 20 minutes and walk through the house, looking in all the cabinets and closets, and make a list of everything that needs to be done and set up a timeframe in which to do it. Because really, the things need to be done in a certain order, so I need to get to it and figure out in what order the things need to be done, then I can actually DO them.

4. Teaching the children. This is both for their Bible work and the secular work. Lydia has a daily Bible reading for her class, and a memory verse. I usually remember to do her items about an hour after she's in bed for the night. I need to do it earlier, maybe after I do her reading lesson. I am still going through the 100 Easy Lessons book, but only doing a lesson for 15 minutes at a time, then starting the same lesson the next day. She was starting to take up to 45 minutes just to do part of one lesson (leaving off the second story reading, and the writing) and it was stressing me out. So now I just do 15 minutes. And I am teaching Benjamin, too. I'm trying to be observant of him and what he's looking at and thinking, and help expand on his thoughts. I also finally put into use the Your Baby Can Read set that hubby's mom got us shortly after Benjamin was born.

I had tried using that with Lydia when she was about six months old, but it didn't "work" for her. I was excited about it at the time and it might have had results if I had continued the program, but we ended up moving about a month later and then had the start of our long spell of spotty employment four months after that, and doing a baby-reading program just wasn't very high of a priority.

But anyway, earlier this week, I finally took the items out of the package that hubby's mom had got for us. It ended up being the "Deluxe" kit. So not only did we have the five DVDs, but we also had a book for each DVD, a set of sliding cards for each DVD, a big set of flash cards, and a few other things. This kit also included an extensive "Parent's Guide" booklet and DVD. I read the booklet and watched the DVD. There are a LOT of less-than-stellar reviews of this product and a lot of naysayers ("Why would you want your baby to read early?" etc.), but the booklet and the DVD addressed so many of those common concerns.

I don't force Benjamin to sit and watch the DVD. Sometimes he wants to stand, instead. Ha, ha. That was my lame attempt at a joke, there. But seriously, he seems to like it. I sit and watch it with him and do the actions (lift arms, touch nose, things like that). And he loves the extras in the kit, too. This evening when I was showing him the sliding cards (these cards have a word on them, then they "slide open" to reveal a picture illustrating the word), he would start to squeal in anticipation of the picture being revealed.

The recommended schedule would take seven months from start to finish, but the booklet said that an older baby may be able to start recognizing the words before the "scheduled end" of the DVD viewing time. It told me of things to watch for to see if that is happening, and if it does, then I can move on to the next DVD early. I don't anticipate being able to do this with Benjamin, but I can see how it could happen with an older toddler. Lydia can already read most of the words on the first DVD. I'm sure that the 100 Easy Lessons that we've completed have helped her with that, but we haven't even been watching the DVDs for a full week yet, and she can already read the words on there. I can't advance to the next DVD for her, though, until Benjamin is ready, so I think that these DVDs and the 100 Easy Lessons will be a good complement to each other.

The program creator's own daughter was on the parent's DVD for part of a Q&A session with some people who were using the program. And I think it's sort of like a weight-loss ad, where such and such a person lost 50 pounds in two weeks and then the fine print says "Results not typical." I don't think that Aleka's results are typical, but if my kids can read a portion of how well she could, then I will be happy. And she didn't just read well over her grade level. She read FAST. It came out in the DVD that she read the entire Harry Potter series -- the whole SERIES -- in ONE day. I consider myself a pretty fast reader, but there's no way I could do THAT. And because she read so fast, she had a ton of time to do other things besides read and study.

5. Exercise. For a few months, I have been meeting up with another babywearing mama three times a week to go walking with her. I need to keep it up. I feel a little better on the days that I do it (but tired, since I get up earlier than normal so I can walk and be home by the time hubby goes to work). But if one or both of us need to cancel for whatever reason, I need to make sure to still get some activity in on my own. We have a set of Walk Away The Pounds DVDs that hubby likes to do sometimes, so I may do that on my "off" days.

nine month stats and high school memories

Phew, I just managed to eke out another entry for July. Go me, haha. I might be able to squeeze another one in next week, depending on how busy things get. I barely find time for all the stuff I "need" to do, and then blogging is just extra.

Anyway. Well, after all that whining about potty training in my last post, I now can't remember the last major accident that she's had. She is really doing great, even for #2s and everything. And last night, she asked if she could wear undies to bed instead of a Pull-up and I asked her if she was going to keep the bed dry, and she said yes, so I gave it a try (she'd already been in undies for naps for quite a while with no incidents). She woke up dry. So we're trying it again tonight, too. I hope I don't jinx myself by saying that it's done, haha.

I'm still doing elimination communication with Benjamin, too, still very part-time. He's still not a whole lot closer to crawling than earlier this month, but he will very rarely get up on his hands and knees, briefly. And he is a GREAT sitter, now. I can set him down, and sometimes he'll stay just like that for an hour or more. But if I lay him down, he will roll all over the place. We had his nine-month appointment this month and he is 27" long (but I think he might be a smidgen longer) and he weighs 15 pounds and 14 ounces. The weight gain is quite a bit from the last time he was in the office. He's still quite the peanut, but it's apparent that I make tiny babies.

Some of the busy-ness that I mentioned earlier is because I am trying to get the apartment cleaned out of random stuff that we just plain don't need anymore. Papers will be the most challenging thing to go through, I think. I am a saver and a hoarder, lol. But there are a few small pieces of furniture that I want to move around to hopefully make the whole place a bit more organized, so we can start having people over again without them feeling like they've walked into clutter city. It's hard, though, because I have all these big ideas but then no time between all the other normal stuff like the kids and the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and the transcription (and the blogging, haha). I have started getting up early 3 days/week and going walking w/ a friend (and B, but leaving Lydia at home) and those days feel more productive to me overall.

We went to hubby's high school reunion last weekend. It wasn't a huge turnout, but the two people he wanted to come, came, so we got to see them and then a few other people. There was a short meet-and-greet at the school on Friday night, then a BBQ lunch on Saturday and a fancy dinner Saturday night. At the lunch, they had rented a bounce house. Lydia went in there for all of about 30 seconds before getting terrified and wanting out. She's also scared of the roly polies (or pill bugs) on my morning walk that I sometimes take her on. She'll sit and watch one all day long, but if I suggest she hold it, she gets terrified. I don't know how I ended up with such a fearful child. I wonder if she'll grow out of it at some point.

Hubby wants to teach a Bible class up at church at some point, too - but not the adult class. He wants to teach the middle schoolers. The class slots are assigned several quarters in advance, so he's already thinking about who he wants to ask to teach with him.

And here are another couple of videos. This first one is just Lydia being three, lol. It's pretty typical of how she acts all day. ALL day, lol. As a matter of fact, she's actually quite calm in this video.



And here's B laughing at me when I go up and down. It took me a bit to get his attention away from the camera, but the wait is worth it. :p

three big stressful waits

I really am surprised that I haven't pulled myself into two pieces from the stress I've been feeling lately. It just seems to keep piling and piling and then when the tiniest bit of relief thinks about being seen, it all of a sudden vanishes and the pile continues to grow anyway. I know I just need to let things go and rely on the Lord to take care of them all. I KNOW this. But it's hard. Nearly impossible. I have always been a planner and "need" to know the whens, whys and hows. I can't just let it sit inside me, though, so every so often I need to write about it. Writing helps me, just a tiny bit, to keep from going to pieces.

I mentioned on Facebook that I have three major "wait for its" right now: the coming baby, potty training for Lydia, and a stable job for hubby. Each item on its own would be stressful enough, but combined, they are a mountain of which I cannot see the top. I pray, I try to be peaceful, I try to be supportive where necessary, I try to think positive... and then I just end up in silent tears at night anyway.

To keep this post from being too much of a downer, I will also do a "count your blessings" thing towards the end. Because really, it could be worse.

Of the three, I think the most stressful to me right now is Tim's job situation. Ever since we moved to Dallas two years ago, it has been inconsistent and unstable and come & go. Right now, he is in a commission-only, independent contractor position. He's been there for about 2 weeks, and it is starting off very VERY slowly. We need about 10 sales/week to just barely make ends meet, and his first two weeks had 6 sales and 4 sales, respectively. He's in the middle of his third week and has only had 5 sales in it, with the two slowest days of the week yet to come. The hours that he currently works make it impossible to get a second job and nearly as hard to have any bit of time at all to look for a different job. I can't work right now since I'd just have to turn around and quit in a few months (besides, Tim doesn't want me to work anyway). It is massively hard to live hopeful and positive day by day not knowing until bedtime if any sales have been made, and then being crushed when the daily total is 1 or even 0.

The second-highest stressor is potty training. This situation could be an entire blog in itself (not an entire post, but an entire blog, lol), so I will try to keep it brief. It started when Mom said that me and my two younger sisters were all potty trained by 18 months. It continued this past week when they were talking about a friend of my nephew's who is nearly 4 and is "not potty trained at all" and the tone of voice they used when discussing that. Then here at home, I read things where this one's child just magically trained themselves overnight one night. That is the most common thing I read. And it is usually with a child who is younger than Lydia. I read tips and signs of readiness and give a half-hearted try, and fail, and just do nothing for a few months. Then I start to think about it again and the stress roller coaster reaches a peak and we try again, and fail again, and I have thoughts of just keeping her in diapers forever since she "obviously" won't be one of those children who just trains themselves overnight. Every time I talk about it to people, they tell me that she's "only" such-and-such an age, and just give it time. So I give it time, and nothing that I can see changes in her development in that time. I talk about it again, and they tell me again that she's "only" such-and-such an age. But then I see or hear of multiple children her same age or even younger than she is who ARE potty trained, and I get discouraged again.

The least stressful of my "big three" is the pregnancy. I wonder if I'll be able to get everything ready in time, or how the baby and Lydia will get along, or what type of personality he/she will have, or if I'll be able to be a good mom to two (since sometimes I wonder if I'm even a good mom to one). I wonder how my labor will be and if my support people will be able to make it here in time to help care for Lydia. I wonder if I'll be early or will go overdue or will deliver at just the right time. All of these things are "normal worries" for pregnancy, and they would be fine on their own, but they are just more dirt on the mountain when combined with the other two.

There, now that my feelings are "out there" I can count my blessings.

1. I have a husband who loves God and me and our daughter and our unborn child.
2. We have an awesome supportive church family who would do anything for us.
3. We have our health.
4. We have a roof over our heads (with a/c even).
5. We're not starving.
6. All of our parents are still alive.
7. I had no trouble getting pregnant either time.
8. My pregnancy is "boringly normal."
9. God loves me and WILL take care of us, in HIS time.

singing a song from bible class

Here's Lydia singing "Jesus Loves Me."

my little "slave"

Even just at 2 years old, Lydia is already such a big helper. After she's done eating, she takes her plate to the kitchen and puts it on the cabinet (stretching to reach b/c she's still so short, lol). She also likes to help me fold diapers:



After they're all folded, she helps me put them away in their proper compartments (we have big diapers which I put away, and then she puts away the little diapers, the wipes, the microfiber towels and the fleece liners). It's really so cute to watch her b/c she's so happy doing it (check out her "I'm so proud of myself" grin at about 48 seconds into the video, lol).

As for Tim's job, we are still waiting on a call from the union. Tuesday will have been two weeks of waiting. We did apply for unemployment the day he got laid off, so hopefully we'll be approved for that, but it takes at least 4 weeks to process that application. Then even if we are approved, it'll be tight and skinny while we're on it since what we would get on that isn't what his full salary would be if he were working.

I'm starting to get a little nervous about the Bible class I'm teaching next quarter. It's the 4&5 year old class, and it's going to be a FULL class. I know that it'll end up being OK but it's still so nerve-wracking doing all the preparations and trying to make sure there's enough going on to fill up the time. I really love that age, though, and think it'll be a fun class.

another year gone

Wow, I started this blog four years ago. Feels like just yesterday. What will this new year bring? Only God knows what He has planned for us.

As for me, I'm in the thick of trying to prepare to teach the 4 and 5 year olds' Bible class next quarter. I don't yet know how I'm going to make it through the next 5 months (2 more months of prep and then 3 months of teaching). But, I made it through the 4th and 5th graders last year, so I will be able to make it through this challenge as well. Then hopefully I can take a short break before teaching again.

Lydia continues to be both a challenge and a joy at the same time. In just a few more days, she'll be 25 months old. Still absolutely NO interest in potty training, but I did finally move her up to the next size of cloth diapers. Her infant-sized ones were just getting too ragged and holey. I still have a big stash of unwashed, undyed, brand new diapers under her crib (from back when I was going to dye them to sell), so I could get some more with little trouble, but it was just "time" to move her up to the next size.

I'm in the middle of doing some decluttering and so far it's going well. I was pretty intense with it earlier this week, so I could finish up the "public areas" of the apartment before DH's family came into town for a few days. Now I have a lot more to do and lots of time in which to do it. I have one remaining play food order and then I need to update my Hyena Cart store, since I've been neglecting it while I sell on a message board instead.

My trip up to see my family last month was great. My nephews (5, 3.5 and 2.5) enjoyed how Lydia has grown. They were surprised that she could talk to them now. lol. I got to try out my sister's Wii Fit, while my family was behind me on the couch, laughing at my futile efforts to hit the soccer balls with my head and to dodge the shoes and the panda bear heads that were being hurtled at me.

It snowed, briefly, our last morning in Amarillo, so I bundled Lydia up and sent her out into the backyard. She still can't say blended consonants (i.e. she says 'nap instead of snap), so she kept calling the snow "sah-now." It was cute to watch her walk around in it.


I also still have to eventually post pictures of her birthday party, but haven't organized those pictures yet. Maybe next week. :p

a memory verse, a boa, a burp and a bite

Lydia moved up from the infants' Bible class to the 2 yr old class this month, since she is 2 now, and they have memory verses even that young. Her verse this month is Jeremiah 31:33, and I've been working with her on it, by saying 3 or so words and then she'll repeat those words (or just continue on w/ the next 3 or so words, depending what mood she's in, lol). This morning, she got the farthest in her verse that she's ever gotten by herself. I started her off and said, "I will put," and then she said, "I will put... my law... in their minds... and write it... on their hearts." I would get it on video but I have to catch her at just the right mood or she'll either not repeat me at all or just repeat "I will put" and then stop, lol.

But speaking of videos, here's one to enjoy. She got a feather boa for her birthday, but can't quite say it. And yesterday, hubby taught her how to say "bite" in a funny way, so that is on there, too. And in the middle of it all is a big burp, just to show how dainty and feminine she is not. LOL

camping summary, and a non-update on jobs

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Hubby's family decided several months ago to meet up at a lake in Kansas and go camping, and this would be their only "big" get-together this year (usually it's at Thanksgiving). I am not a camper. Bugs of all kinds think I'm tasty. I used to be able to tan, but I've gotten so pale now that I get a little pink before the tan comes. I was not looking forward to this trip. Hubby wasn't even going to get to go since he had to stay home and "work for free." We did find a plane ticket where he could come out Saturday night, go to church w/ us on Sunday and then fly back home Sunday afternoon, and his parents gave us the $$ for the ticket, but then on that day, his flight got cancelled. But anyway. On the FIRST day of camping, sure enough I did get bitten. I had plenty of mosquito repellent so it wasn't that. Turns out it was spider bites. Lots and lots of them. They itched so badly that it hurt. You can even still see them today, nearly 2 weeks later. And it was HOT. The campground did have showers, but even those weren't very refreshing b/c they ONLY had hot water going to them, so I might as well have sat in a boiling soup and cooked myself that way. But the Babygirl seemed to have fun, and she escaped w/ no bites, so that was good. And it was nice to see everyone. I just wish it could have been at a different location. Most of the extended family only came out here and there instead of actually camping with us, since they all live in the area.

And the non-update on job(s). It's a "non" update since nothing has really changed since I last posted. I have done some looking into being a nanny, but there are a whole lot more nanny wannabes than there are nanny positions available. Sort of the same situation like I had spoken of earlier w/ possibilities for hubby. Today is his day off, and right now he is out driving around to apply in person to anywhere and everywhere. He's trying to "kill the bear and drag it home to the cave." He has been in contact with an old boss of his at a college bookstore. Hubby has 4 years experience there, and has since acquired some management experience, so he is looking into possibly being a bookstore manager. But we have not heard anything back from that yet, either.

In the meantime, we are still praying. I believe our prayers will be answered. I believe the prayers of all the people who are praying FOR us will be answered. I believe that God has an amazing plan for us that I may not even be imagining yet. I believe... I believe... I believe. I need to keep telling myself that, because in times like this, it's way too easy to slip into doubt. When hubby first got this car sales job, we thought it WAS a blessing and an answer to prayers, but it has caused us both nothing but stress and grief for the whole time. I am SO ready for my stress to be lessened.

People have shared some amazing personal stories with me about how their prayers were answered right at the time a catastrophe could have happened, and the prayer-answer prevented the catastrophe. I tried to think of even mild instances like that in my own life, and I couldn't. I know that God loves us and will take care of us, but lately, instead of feeling like the thriving green houseplant that gets plenty of water and sits in the south-facing window... I feel like the sickly, scrawny, somewhat neglected yellowing plant with dropping leaves that's under a fluorescent light in the closet.

releasing some woes

Just felt a need to unload a few woes here so I can stop dwelling on them. I know that God will take care of us and He knows what's going to happen in the future (b/c He's already IN the future, like I saw on a local church sign the other day), but it's human nature to worry a little. Or a lot sometimes. Typing it out (in addition to prayer, etc.) sometimes helps me to release it.

Woe 1: Our COBRA will end at the end of this month. Hubby's work only gave him about a day to review the benefits sign-up paperwork, and he decided not to do it and that we could just get private insurance for cheaper. Which we can, but it won't have maternity coverage. That's not going to be a huge deal since we're planning a homebirth for future babies, but on the off chance that we have to go to the hospital, then nothing will be covered. His open enrollment isn't until January, and will be effective that same month, so we have a whole year to wait for that.

Woe 2: I'm getting nervous about hubby's job. It seemed like such a blessing at first, but he keeps telling me that people get let go if they don't make their sales goals for 3 months in a row. And not just if you're still new, either, but anyone. And it doesn't matter if you're doing all that you can to try to sell a car. Hubby makes appointments over the phone w/ people, but then they reschedule and/or don't come in at all. After that, he still makes the appropriate follow up calls to try to reschedule again but usually these leads just fizzle out.

Woe 3: Also related to hubby's work... our income for the next couple of paychecks is looking to be VERY thin. Tomorrow is the last day of a pay period, and so far hubby has sold ONE car. The customers just haven't been coming in at all. I'm hoping that he can squeeze out 2 tomorrow, but if tomorrow is like the days up there have been, then there will be no sales tomorrow either.

Woe 4: My business is just squeaking along. I have tentative plans for a bazaar at the end of April, but I'm working on lining up help for that and getting an inventory started. As for regular sales, my mother-in-law has been my only sale this month. She is going to take them up to her work, though, and try to market me there, so maybe I'll be able to get some sales that way. And I am going to be in an Easter basket collaboration with a few other work at home moms, and then in a "conglomoration" of stores in April (trying to sell something that I've never made for sale before... should be interesting). And my samples box is going on sale tomorrow, so they should bring me some business too. So this woe isn't as woeful as it could be.

Woe 5: Lydia's still taking her own sweet time with development. She still has a whopping zero words. She doesn't even have any "nonsense" words that she uses over and over again to mean the same thing. She will finally stand on her own for longer than 3 seconds, but I can't put her in that position and she still prefers to be down closer to the ground. She will walk along with us, but only if she has a death grip on us with BOTH her hands (i.e. she won't walk by holding onto just one hand). BUT she is VERY happy most of the time and healthy and just a joy to be around. So this woe doesn't really "count" either.

As for those first few woes, though, I really want to release them from my constant thoughts. I know everything will be OK... I just don't know HOW.

transcribing coming back

Yay, I finally got a hold of my old transcribing job and they reactivated me. :) There probably won't be any work for me until the middle of next month, but that's OK. I really need the time to finish up sewing projects and dye several diapers and get those on the web, and possibly make a few crocheted baby headbands, although I may wait until after my next paycheck in November or so to really do those.

Lydia's teeth finally popped through. She has two teensy white lines on her bottom gums now. I need to get a picture sometime. She's still not doing hands and knees crawling, but she does get up on her hands and knees and will even lift one of her arms, but then she puts it right back down where it was before. We got her a Superyard, to help keep her contained when I do transcribing. So far she seems to like it, although she'd rather me play with her than her be in there by herself. She likes it if I'm outside and I stick my face onto the "wall", then she'll come up and try to grab my nose or lips, or sometimes just try to mash her face up against mine.

The parenting class at church is going well. It's weird being in there w/ such a young baby, b/c a lot of the principles are applied better to children who actually need a little more guidance than a 9 month old, but I really like it just the same. The teacher told us some things on Wednesday that were scary, though, about how a child will try to manipulate his/her parents and possibly turn them against each other (like by going to Dad when Mom said no, and then Dad doesn't back Mom up and Mom and Dad then fight about it later). He also said that Moms are better at guiding girls b/c they were once girls and can think like a girl, and Dads are better at guiding boys for the same reasons. And that made sense to me. Hubby and I recently read a couple of books, "For Men Only" and "For Women Only", by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, and it was really eye-opening for both of us.

squinchy faces

I thought I'd share a few of her "squinchy" faces that she does fairly regularly now. She bunches up her eyes, nose, and mouth and then sniffs a little bit. It's hard to describe in words, so without further delay, here are a few pics:

Apart from the squinchy face, she's not really doing anything new. I'm still feeding her baby food when I remember... which hasn't been very often lately. She's still crawling on her belly (as opposed to hands and knees), and I guess she can still babble a little bit even though she hasn't even done that recently either. She's still waking up at night and still has no teeth.

In other news, hubby caught a little gecko the other day and decided that he wants to keep it as a pet. So I went out yesterday and got a little aquarium and a few accessories... and some live crickets. Yes, this new pet eats LIVE crickets. But, I'm not squeamish about it at all. My grandfather was a serious fisherman when he was alive, and used live worms and live crickets as bait. I put my own crickets on the fishhook long ago. Plus they're not very big at all, the biggest ones are probably only a half-inch long or so. But anyway. So far the little gecko likes to hide a lot. I actually found a whole message board devoted to geckos and according to them, I probably have a Mediterranean House Gecko, which will grow to a max of 6 inches.

One of the classes at church this quarter is a class on parenting. I've only gone to two classes so far (since the quarter just started), but so far I'm really enjoying it. I know that the material in it will be helpful as Lydia gets older and we add more children to our family.

gospel meetings and good preaching

Tim and I went to a gospel meeting at the church in Mustang this week. (A "gospel meeting" is where a visiting preacher comes in and brings us Bible lessons on Sunday and then also on Monday through Wednesday evenings... some of you out there may call something like this a "revival".) Anyway we got to hear Bruce Reeves from Conway Arkansas, and he preached some fine lessons on expediencies, apostasies, and baptism. He is the kind of speaker you can listen to for a whole hour and only feel like you've been there for 10 minutes and want the sermon to continue.

At our congregation at 84th street we have found a replacement preacher for our one who passed away from cancer this past Thanksgiving. Harry Osborne will be coming to work with us towards the end of May. We are all excited to have him come. It has been a hard transistion but we are all ready to move on now.

My eyes are still doing OK. They are still fluctuating but hover pretty close to 20/25 or so. Only a week and a half until my next appointment. Then maybe I can stop the salty drops. I have a slight feeling of dread whenever I start to put them in, but the burn isn't as bad as I think it will be. Maybe I'm getting sensitized to the salt, I dunno.

first night driving since lasik surgery

Tim and I went to another Bible study about the home and marriage last night, and it started at 7:30. We left the apartment at about 7:00 and I decided to try night driving for the first time since my eye surgery 10 days ago. It wasn't too scary, but even so I let Tim drive on the way home so I could close my eyes and rest. Part of that was because we stayed very late singing hymns and I was a little sleepy. :)

Anywho back to the driving experience. You know how if you're driving at night and you squint your eyes, you can make the streetlights and headlights and things have lines coming out of them from the top and the bottom? Well my eyes sometimes would show me two lines coming out of lights... but they were both to the top, like antennas. And sometimes if I concentrated and focused, they would go away. For the most part they were there, though. Not really anything very distracting, it was kindof like seeing reflections in a wet road after a big rain.

I got some groceries today and when I bought some chips, I noticed that Pringles has come out with a variety of their chip that has trivia questions printed right onto the chip. They looked so neat so I had to get a can of them. The chips inside the can looked just like the example on the outside of the can - a very clearly printed question and upside down answer on each chip. What will the food industry think of next?

thinking of others more than myself

Tim and I went to another of the Bible studies about the home last night. This time the subject was dating and courtship and how you should determine whether you want to marry someone or not. There were about 12 people there but only 3 of them were single. But we all can use tips and hints to help improve our marriage.

Afterwards, we stayed over there and talked until midnight-ish. I found out a few struggles that some of our friends are going through. One couple had lost their first baby last month, and now one of her coworkers is expecting. She is struggling a lot right now so I am keeping her in my prayers that she may be strong, and that God may bless them with another baby soon.

Another couple is a blended family, and because of a spanking (not done in anger, not done anywhere but the bottom) left a few bruises on one of their children, they are now under investigation for child abuse. It is possible that they may lose the children permanently. When I used to work at Walmart as a cashier, I would bump into parts and corners of my "register cubicle" and get bruises. I even managed to give myself a 4" by 1" one on my thigh one time. Bruises are going to happen sometimes, and of course there are plenty of people out there who bruise easier than others. Granted I am not sure if the child falls into that "bruising easily" category, but I have seen nothing but love in that family. We've even had them over to our place for dinner and games and they are one of the happiest, well-adjusted blended families I've known of. Nobody yelled, the children were well-behaved and smiling, etc. I pray that they will be able to get their children back, but if it is not God's will then I pray fervently that the parents will be able to find healing and be able to forgive, and that it will not be a strain on their marriage.

On a lighter note, my mother in law is taking me to An Affair of the Heart today, a large craft-show bonanza thing. Maybe I can get some decorating ideas for when and if Tim and I ever get our own house.