Friday, September 9, 2005

normal cycles have not returned

Well, today is cycle day 32 of my first cycle off the pill, and I still have not ovulated or gotten my period yet. It makes me sad, but at this point I'm thinking this is a trial I have to go through to build my patience. It's very difficult. I look forward to going to bed each night because I wonder, will the next day be the morning I have a temperature rise? Then in the morning when I wake up and do NOT have a temp rise, I am sad and look forward to going to sleep at night again several hours later. Sometimes I even "zombie" through the day a little. I need to just not dwell on it so much and live my life instead, but it's very hard not to think about it.

On a message board I'm on, one of the users gave me a little comfort by saying that since my body was on hormonal BC for so long, I didn't "use" my own hormones. She compared it to not using your arm for an equivalent length of time, and how it would take a long time of physical therapy to get it back to normal. That helped a teeny bit.

When people tell me that it took them 6 months or 9 months or whatever for their cycles to return, I despair of being able to get pregnant when we CAN start trying (based on debt payoffs so I can be a stay at home mom).

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